Once upon a time, there was a lot of time, I remember hearing this all the time when I was growing up. Oh, how true this feels now. It seems like I’m always waiting and hurrying up all in the same moment. Owen’s been having some really great days. It feels like he is making huge strides and connections. This morning, however, felt off. He was making noises instead of words. His screams echoed through my heart and I reminded him to use his words. He wasn’t upset or mad, yet the words were not there. He let out little bursts of sounds as we were walking to the bus stop. I tried to encourage more words, singing, and asking questions. No words came. We kept walking. We got to the bus stop and he said, “twinkle”. There was security in that for me and maybe for him as well. I cling to his words, afraid sometimes that he will lose them. I have to remember where we’ve come from and that keeps me pushing forward. A thousand thoughts run through my mind daily, heck hourly, maybe even minutely. I try to stay one step ahead of everything that is going on around me, but feeling like I’m stumbling in the dark, racing downhill at a speed no one should be going, holding an octopus eating pizza. There’s such a joy in seeing my sweet baby O thrive especially on the days I’m struggling to put one foot in front of the other. I have my own little mantra that I repeat over and over, “when in doubt it will work out”, hoping that I listen to my own words. Know this is one moment in time and you are a lot stronger than you think you are. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.