“Hickory dickory dock in porchEgeese”, Owen said, laughing in delight when Siri answered. He followed with, “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty sat on them all in spinach”. “I want banana in Japanese”, he continued. His laughter and excitement are contagious. I’m thankful he is finding his voice and it gets stronger every day with these conversations with Siri. He said, “I wanna talk to grandma sil vous plait”. I asked do you want to call grandma. He said, “not today”. I love how he is starting to mix his words and knows what he wants. He had dueling tablets going, Siri versus Alexa. Siri, was all about his food choices, while Alexa was song influenced. We sat earlier playing music together. It went over a little better than yesterday. When he comes up with the choice of playing it seems to last longer. He almost prefers to play the guitar with his feet but I’m trying to show him how he strums the strings and can play with both hands. I can’t play a tune as much as I can’t sing one but to me, it’s more about the interaction with the instruments for Owen. Having him hold them and get the feel of the movements has always been important to me. When he was a baby I would hold one of his hands on my heart and his other hand on my throat or in front of my mouth, letting him hear the sounds through his hands as I would sing. I wanted him to understand the connection music can be with our soul. It’s still important to me and even more now. The more he is exposed to music, arts, languages, foods, and everything else the world has to offer the more he will find what makes his heart soar. I tell him that he can do anything he wants if he believes in himself. It took him a while to drift off to sleep tonight but I thought of his laughter and the smile that always carries me through our days. Never give up on the miracles yet to happen. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“No more wash ya hands”, Owen yelled at me from the living room. He had fallen back asleep on the couch after waking up around midnight and then thankfully he slept the rest of the night. I was in the kitchen and turned the water on for my coffee. He doesn’t like the water on when he doesn’t like the water on. I’m never really sure when that is but the screaming is my indicator. I told him I would be done in a minute and he moved on to tell me to “sit”. Some mornings it’s him that is in slow motion, other times it's me. He seemed more serious and anxious today. I tried to play music with him but that didn’t go over well. He really didn’t want to sing with me. I don’t really blame him since I can’t carry a tune in a bucket. He wanted to talk a lot with Siri and asked her to translate many foods into all the different languages. He would laugh and say, “say it again Siri” and then once again laughing hysterically. It’s amazing how strong his voice has become over the last few weeks. I remind him to slow down with his words so she can understand him more. He still has a hard time with certain letters and so I try to get him to pronounce them as he is asking. I’m thankful that even when Siri doesn’t completely understand him she still says something and it is helping to build his confidence. The bandaid meltdown was serious. I had a bandaid on my thumb. As soon as Owen saw it he immediately grabbed my thumb to take it off. I tried to explain that I had a boo-boo but he wanted no part of the explanation he just wanted the bandaid off. I finally took it off. My heart cries out to God for strength. I’m sad it’s so hard on him sometimes and stressful for me to know when to let his emotions work through themselves. He fell asleep relatively quickly tonight but still wanted me to be right next to him the whole time. I’m thankful for how far we’ve come and I’m ready to face tomorrow. God gave me strength. Now it’s up to me to use it. Let your inspiration be your guide for a fantastic tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Some nights Owen falls asleep like a dream and then the next night it’s like party central and he is not even considering sleep. Last night was the breeze and tonight it was the hurricane. He flipped flopped back and forth, up and down, and all around his bed, yelling for the blue blanket. So he has a bright blue blanket, a dark blue blanket, a darker blue blanket, and a blue shark blanket and those are the ones on his bed right now. I put the first one on him, the screams continued. I tried a different one, nope. He didn’t really want any of them and he certainly wanted all of them. He also wanted to lay on top of them. He kept kicking them off and then kicking the bedrail, laughing hysterically as he did it. I rolled over. Sometimes it makes it harder when I try to answer all the questions or move all the blankets and other times me giving him every blanket in the house is the only thing holding the threads together so he doesn’t have a huge meltdown and then we are up all night. After a few more flops he was finally asleep. And then it’s unwind time for me. It seems like it takes me as long to wind down as it does for him to fall asleep. I stood in the kitchen with the lights off wondering if anyone else prepares their coffeemaker for the next day in the dark. I was praying I didn’t wake up Owen as I did it. My house could not be laid out in the worst way for him. I can’t close his bedroom door because this would not go over well, instead I have two blackout curtains hanging in different areas hoping to block the lights he could see through the house. It doesn’t always work so I try to keep as many lights off as possible once he falls asleep. Some nights he wakes up screaming if I open the refrigerator and the light shines through the house, this is what I want to avoid. What carried me through my day was his laughter as he listened to Siri talk with him as he asked her to say everything he could think of in every language she can translate. There are miracles all around us. Find your joy and change the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The everyday adventures keep me on my toes. Owen now wants to sit on the floor vents and if he’s no sitting he wants to lay across them and then he says, “it’s too hot”. The more I try to get him to leave them alone the more he tries to sit on them. At least he has the words right. So I ordered new deflector air vents. I’m hoping that if he can’t sit or lay on them he will move away from them. He slept all night but he also woke up at five extremely upset that he was not going to see his teacher today. For approximately two hours he let me know of his displeasure with the situation. I try not to think about how hard this is on him. And I try not to cry about how hard it is on my emotions. I can’t explain to him why he can’t go to school. “It’s a holiday” does not justify anything to him. Today he sang about pumpkins, Santa, and the three little pigs. Nothing in any of those moments suggested that two of the three were holiday related but not the holiday and reason he had off today. The rest of the day was full of up and down moments but for the most part, he was calm but extremely clingy. He wanted me to sit all day and anytime I would get up he would be right beside me wanting me to sit back down. I sat a lot. It’s one of those things I have to decide what emotion I want to deal with and if my actions and reactions will cause him to have meltdowns. So I breathe. We laughed a lot, I cried some, and we read tons of his books. Siri played a big role in our day and lots of languages were heard. Every single day I tell Owen how much I love him and that he is a miracle. I want him to know he can accomplish anything he sets his mind to. I try to remind myself of my own words. Find your strength and go after your dreams. You can do it. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Every day I pray for the hope of tomorrow and I celebrate the joys yet to come. I know that some days my emotions are higher than the mountains and deeper than the streams but I also know the possibilities are endless. I think about the day I told Owen something was impossible. He replied, “I’m possible”. He didn’t even realize what he said but it made me truly look at everything a little differently. I tell him he can do anything he wants if he sets his mind to it. And today as I hear him ask Siri to translate everything into Portuguese, Italian, French, spinach, boy, potato, and toaster to name a few I know the sky is the limit for my sweet baby O. He has still been on edge today but a little calmer as the day wore on. You would think I would be used to the way he eats by now but some days it still shocks me. It seems like he has been eating all day, numerous small meals, and tons of snacks. I made ham salad sandwiches at some point. I cut his into tons of small little pieces but he took mine instead. I sat them both on the table at the same time and then went back to the counter to get my drink. When I got to the table he was eating mine. I had cut mine into four pieces so at least they were smaller but he picked the whole piece up immediately squishing it in his right hand and took a hunk of it with his left hand. He ate the piece he pulled off the sandwich but not before pulling it in and out of his mouth numerous times. I tried to show him how to take a bite and put the sandwich down, an exercise we’ve worked on numerous times. This was met with him saying, “you done” and attempting to run away with ham salad all over his face and hands. I told him to sit back down. He ended up eating all of his sandwich and most of mine. I didn’t try to get him to eat small bites at this point. If I push too much he ends up stuffing everything in his mouth at one time and gagging on it on purpose. I think this is his solution for making me know I’m not derailing the food train. I’m concentrating on the success stories, the smiles, and the songs sung in every language I can imagine. In this ever-changing world keep reaching for the stars, never give up, and dream of the hope for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The rollercoaster was a’winding and a’twisting all day long. Owen was on edge for most of the day, wanting me to sit, or help him with something constantly. I have seen a huge amount of growth in him over the last few weeks, both in size and maturity but it also has set him back on a few of his skills too. That seems to be how it goes. It’s like those unneeded skills for the moment get put on a shelf and he comes back to them when he can process them with everything else he is learning and doing. We are working on manners and what to say when his body makes noises. He doesn’t understand that some bodily functions should be done in private or what you should say if something happens. He also has a hard time knowing when to use his name instead of saying me or you. He burped and he said, “excuse you excuse me” to cover all his bases. He then started fake sneezing so he could run to me and say, “bless you God bless you God bless me excuse me”, still not knowing for sure what to say but I’m thrilled he is making the connections now. He is all about the languages right now. Siri and he are becoming fast friends. He asks her to translate everything he can think of into every language he can think of. He found Dutch and Arabic today and wanted to hear Arabic over and over again. I said to him in my rusty Spanish, “hola que paso”. He said, “that’s hello in spinach”. He is starting to say more words in other languages as well and I can tell he is going to keep me on my toes. I rejoice the victories through tired eyes after it took him over two hours to fall asleep tonight. Find your motivation, dream big, and know that you can do it. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The language train is moving right on track. Owen changed our tv to Portuguese. He listened to it for quite some time and then he changed it to French. I think he cycled through a few more languages before putting it back to English. He had full conversations with Siri requesting every phrase he could think of in every language he could think of. The highlight of my day was when I asked him if he could say chocolate in French. Most of the time he repeats the exact words I say but instead he said the phrase “I want chocolate milk please” all in French. All I could think was wow. The sky’s the limit for him. I can tell he is growing and he is also working through many emotions. When growth happens, no matter what form, it seems like he takes steps backwards on other abilities, like potty training. When you have a sensory child the world of bodily functions is a very emotional journey. We have overcome so many obstacles and in general, Owen uses the potty almost all of the time but the few times he won’t go or doesn’t tell me he needs to go still puts me on a tailspin of what can I do to stop this. Routine is absolutely everything for Owen and all of the back and forth of not knowing is extremely hard on him. And right now there is anything but a reliable routine in our world. I can try to make it as consistent as possible but that still doesn’t always make it so. I miss our adventures of going to the coffee shop and bowling on Saturdays and I can only imagine how he must feel when everything that he loves was taken away from him. There is no way he can comprehend it and there is no way I can explain when I do not understand it all myself. All I can do is pray for a calmer tomorrow. I’m thankful for the progress he is making and his smile that is etched into my heart. Find your happiness, do something for yourself, and share your smile with the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Every night now Owen wants to take a book to bed with him. Well, generally, it’s every book he owns but I make him decide on one. He holds it for a while, then he wants to read it with me, and sometimes he will let me put it on the nightstand, other times he wants to hold it until he falls asleep. The book he has chooses this week is about a dog. In the next few months, I plan to get Owen a dog. We talk a lot about it but mostly it’s him telling me no we are not getting one. However, when he talks to others he randomly will say he is getting a dog. His first answer to most questions is “no”. I think it’s part of his processing. I also think he doesn’t necessarily have the conversation skills to answer the back and forth questions he knows I will ask and this becomes hard for him to communicate with me. I know that this momma is happy he wants to read so much with me even if the book has a dog or no dog included. As the week has worn on he has been able to read more of the story himself and gets excited as he does it. The reminder that he is talking, reading, and learning to express himself puts sunshine in my soul. I’ve alway cut his hair and never taken him to a place. I’ve struggled thinking about taking him somewhere when I know with all his sensory needs it could be extremely overwhelming. I also know how hard it is on him to get his hair cut. Tonight I cut his hair and he was relatively calm but as I was finishing I realized exactly how much he was moving and how short some of the sections got. I know it will grow but it is also a reminder of the struggles he goes through with the noises from me cutting his hair. He winced sometimes with the sound of the scissors in his hair. He will say, “cut cut cut you done” and I’ve only cut one tiny section. There are nights I can only cut one piece off and other nights like tonight where I cut a lot but the movements also made me cut his hair in jagged shapes. There are days I think I should let his hair grow long but I know it’s better to cut his hair and also help him through the cutting process. I have literally worked on his hair every night for weeks only to know as soon as I was done we would have to start the process all over again to keep the length short enough. And sometimes I breathe. The rules for everything can be incredibly overwhelming but I have to remind myself to move forward. It makes me sad I cut his hair too short in a few areas but I also rejoice because he let me really do a full haircut all in one night. Progress is all how you look at it and accept it. The meltdowns were all closer to the breaking point for him over words and spelling. He wanted to yell at me for making noises and not instantly being able to find a language I didn’t recognize on his tablet. When I couldn’t find it with the voice-activated option on youtube he wanted me to spell it so he could type it into the search. The problem was how long the title was and in a language, I didn’t recognize with words beyond my spelling ability when I couldn’t see them to spell them. I held him through the moments and eventually, he moved on. Thankfully we avoided the huge meltdowns and got through our night. He was all smiles as we read his dog book and I know that tomorrow is a brand new day. Rejoice in your victories, follow your dreams to the sky, and make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“I want to go to church please in French”, Owen said to Siri. He listened to that several times and then went on to his next option, “I want to go to church please in spinach”. He then asked for it in German. I am absolutely loving his fascination with all of these languages. He never answers me in any of the languages but I hear him singing and talking in them. I know he understands more than I can even imagine. I’ve always felt like he thinks they are all one big language. Maybe as he learns more about them and continues to ask for each he will begin to understand the differences. There’s no doubt in my mind that he will be able to communicate in many of them as time goes on. I have been trying to find ways to help him through some of his repetitive behaviors. He will ask me constantly when he gets to see his teacher again or go to church. He needs to be secure in his routine. He says, “have to go to sleep and then” wanting me to tell him what’s next. I know to go over with him a couple of times and then I ask him the question he says to me. It seems like this helps him process it quicker and moves on. I know the more he can communicate his needs with me will help to ease his anxiety as we talk through his day. I also want him to understand that we need to have conversations. He often yells out what he wants from me or what he wants me to do. I explain to him that he has to ask politely for his milk or more veggie straws instead of yelling at me “milk milk milk”. I also make him get the milk carton or bag of chips. We are working on life skills and each victory gets him one step closer to independence. I’m not quite sure that I’m ready for him to pour milk by himself yet. Heck, sometimes I have a hard time pouring it. He’s growing, I’m growing, and I tell him together we make a great team. There are many victories won every day. My greatest joy is seeing him smile and hearing his laughter. There is no greater gift than being his mommy and I’m thankful for his growth. Never give up. Every day is a chance for a new beginning. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I sat listening to Owen talk between English, Spanish, French, and I’m guessing Chinese. His words aren’t always clear enough yet for a translator to understand him but boy, oh boy, he is coming right along. He amazes me. Earlier he was listening to someone counting in English and he was counting right along with them in “spinach”. I love to hear the joy in his voice when he belts out a tune right alongside one of the videos he is watching. We haven’t worked a lot with his music the past week but he has picked up his guitar on his own several times. We sing together but he certainly prefers his singing to mine and I really don’t blame him. He definitely has better tone than I do. I have to remind myself to breathe sometimes. He doesn’t understand that I can be emotional about something not connected to anything he is doing but he needs me to stay happy and not show my emotions. I tried not to cry but I stood in my kitchen and the tears flowed. One more thing on top of the already teetering list of things that need to be done. He yelled at me to sit. The one thing I didn’t want to do was sit. So instead he screamed at me and pulled my hair. I sat. I also cried some more. He crawled in my lap, giving me a “big hug”. I asked him what he wanted for dinner. I started to list off different foods he could have. I realized it was too much for him. But as I was trying to say the second option Owen ran to the freezer, opened the door, and pulled out the “shrimp”. There are miracles all around us and I’m thankful for the one that shows me every day how to love stronger and be braver. Never give up on the miracle yet to come. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!