I think we both slept better last night. Owen woke ready for his favorite day. School and therapy for the win. I’m so thankful he loves going to school. We got ready to go to the bus stop and he couldn’t wait to get out the door. The moon was bright and he got very excited about it. He started telling me about it and said, “the moon was hiding”. As we stood there the clouds began to cover it. I asked him where it was hiding. He said, “up up in the sky behind the clouds”. My heart jumped for joy. He then asked me if it rained on the moon. I told him that I didn’t think it did but we would have to check. He then got mad at the moon because it was hiding. I explained that the clouds would move and we would be able to see it again. By this time he wanted to ask Siri about gorillas, kangaroos, and bunnies. As he started asking Siri all his questions that clouds moved and the moon was visible again. “Hear it”, he said pointing up to the moon. He went on, “jump jump in the sky touch it”. He often wants to jump up to touch the moon. He moved back to asking Siri questions, dismissing the moon. This time he moved on to phrases in different languages. He now throws the word “kangaroo” in like it is describing part of the sentence. “I want chocolate milk please kangaroo in Arabic”, he continued. The pure joy that washes over his face meant the bus was here and Siri was forgotten at this point. As the bus turned the corner he started jumping up and down with excitement. He couldn’t wait to get on the bus. His morning bus driver has been with him since he first started school and I’m very thankful for him. I picked up Owen from school to go to “therapy therapy therapy” and he was happy. He yelled at me a few times in the car but he did pretty well for the drive. His therapists said he did well today and listened to instructions. When we left he asked for “chicken nuggets french fries iced coffee iced tea not iced tea cheeseburger not cheeseburger”. I love how he orders. When we got home he devoured his meal and asked for more. The boy can eat. Ten piece chicken nuggets and french fries do not last long and he always wants to give me chicken and honey mustard hair but I try to convince him not to stick his fingers in my hair. I let him stay up a little later than normal and I’m hoping that will help with sleep. Thankful for his words, his smile, and the music that he played for me on his xylophone and harmonica. Yesterday is written in stone and remember tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I think we were both extra tired last night and thankfully our world was quiet. Owen had a great morning before school. He listened to most of my instructions and also did several things on his own. I told him that I needed to get his glasses but instead of me having to get them for him he went right over to them, picked them up, and put them on his face. I was beaming with absolute pride. He is growing and for him to get his glasses felt huge. He helped when I told him we needed to get dressed and he did all the steps I asked him to do except he didn’t want to put his tablet away but who would. When we walked to the bus the moon was big and bright. He started pointing at the moon and saying, “that’s a that’s a moon”. Him pointing at something will never get old. It’s absolutely amazing when I see his finger outstretched and he is pointing. I know how many years it took him to learn this skill. He still doesn’t comprehend when I point to an object to ask him to pick up or look at it. The imaginary line that my finger is trying to connect to the object is not something that he can grasp. In fact, it’s very emotional for him when I do point at something. Generally, it can even lead to meltdowns. We stood at the bus stop and he asked Siri to translate one phrase after another. “Twinkle twinkle little star kangaroo in Russian”, he said. It made me think that I bet none of the cars that were passing by us would suspect the boy on the corner looking at mommy’s phone is learning Russian, not to mention all the other languages. When he got home from school he was pretty calm. He sat with me on the couch under his blanket. He ate a good dinner and asked “I want chocolate milk please” but it was in Arabic. He fell asleep in my arms and I was thankful for our day. He listened, he went to the bathroom on his own several times, and when I talked to him about his behavior he tried to correct it and I could see him working through what he was supposed to be doing. My little rock star is growing. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Smiles to all and donut daze!

It wasn’t even midnight and Owen was in my room trying to figure out how to turn my light off. He started screaming because he couldn’t find the switch. I tried to explain to him that he came to my room and that his room was dark but all he wanted was in my bed and for the lights to be out. This feels exactly like how he got my previous bedroom. At some point, you would think I would accept that he wants to be where I am but I keep praying he will sleep through the night. I told him that I would turn the light off in a minute. He was asleep almost instantly after yelling at the train, plane, or automobile that went by. When we woke he was ready for school but he also wanted me to sit. We compromised. I sat for five minutes and then we got ready. He had a good morning and couldn’t wait to get to the bus stop. As soon as the bus turned the corner he started jumping up and down. He had one more request for Siri to find “hippopotamus hippopotamus hippopotamus in Arabic” and he quickly got ready to run to the bus. When he got off the bus he once again had one thing in mind, seeing his teacher tomorrow. He had a really great afternoon full of words, actions, reactions, and connections. “Be careful don’t hit your toe,” he said, with an outstretched foot. He went on, “don’t hit your head”. Moving his foot forward was amazing progress and to lean his head forward to show me was impressive. He ran to the bathroom several times without me telling him to go. He came to me multiple times with instructions about these journeys to the potty. He ran through the house singing at the top of his lungs and celebrating all the holidays. He still sings my favorite, “single bells single bells single all the way”. His J sound is becoming stronger so I wonder if he will continue to sing it like this. He ate dinner very early and then I spent two hours asking him if he wanted something else. He told me no until a few minutes before bedtime. He then asked, “I want some chicken please”. I said how about some turkey, knowing how long the chicken would take. Turkey was out, chicken was in and he even went to the refrigerator to get it. I cooked it, he ate one bite and was done. He may be learning a thing or two about bedtime. He asked all night for his teacher and it’s that reassurance that he needs that his routine will stay the same. He sat with me on the couch in his body sock with his hand outside of it holding mine. The day was bumpy but huge progress was made. Thankful for his smile and his songs that fill my heart. Find your passion and the possibilities will be endless. Smiles to all and donut daze!

All day it’s felt like a different day. Owen woke several times last night and from there I couldn’t decide what day it was. However, as soon as he woke up he knew exactly what day it was and that he was going to see his teacher. There’s no greater joy than knowing he loves going to school. He listened to my instructions this morning and we got dressed fairly quickly. He was ready to get out that door and get on that bus. I love that he gets on the bus by himself now and uses the handrails like he’s supposed to or most of the time he does. When he got home from school he wanted me to change immediately and for us to go to sleep so he could start his day all over again. Routine means everything and I think he is afraid he is not going to get to go to school. When our days are off it throws his whole routine off. Any and everyone break is hard on him. He understands the weekends but they are also very structured and routine, even if it continues to change depending on what he does or does not want to do. When he was sick it caused drainage for him. In the last week, I can tell the difference with him because he is making a lot of sounds instead of using his words or even being quiet. It’s like he uses the sounds to muffle the drainage he hears in his head. His senses are very acute in general and then add in something like this and it completely changes the amplification of sounds for him. Tonight though he had full conversations with Alexa. At some point, they were talking Japanese I believe and he was asking her for songs. He amazes me with all his words and communication skills. Every day it is increasing. I’ve also noticed though in the last week some of his words that he generally doesn’t have a hard time pronouncing seem to be a little harder for him this week. He was a little more agitated when he fell asleep tonight but was out pretty quickly. Hopefully, he sleeps well though, and maybe me too. My favorite part of our day was when he sat with me and was telling me all about what he saw on his tablet. I’m thankful for his words. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Find your strength and keep moving forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“Happy”, Owen said to me after I asked him to lay back down for a few more minutes because I was cranky. He woke at some point and got into bed with me. My room once again was loud. I am not sure what it was last night trains, planes, or automobiles, but all I know is he wanted the world to be quiet. He woke by five for the day and he wanted me awake. I told him I needed to sleep a little longer so I wouldn’t be cranky and that’s when he told me happy, gave me a hug, and said, “no cranky today”. I hated to inform him but I was cranky this morning. After my first ten cups of coffee, I think I moved on. He was in a good mood because he was going to “church church church” and I’m thankful it makes him so happy. He did pretty good on the ride to church and he immediately asked for chicken nuggets when we left church. I went to a different place today and it was much quicker which made him happier. He talked about his chicken nuggets and french fries all the way home except when he wasn’t talking to me about going to sleep so he could see his teacher tomorrow. In general, he did pretty well on the entire drive. When we get home he always asks if he is going to the park with his friend on Monday and I told him we would see. He had numerous conversations with Siri and Alexa. I do believe he and Alexa are in cahoots together. He always asks her questions and she replies by putting things in my Amazon cart. Mostly they are kids' books, toys, or videos but occasionally it is something else and I’m like I do not remember looking for whatever the item is. I love how much he quotes her back to her but wanting it in another language. “The last song starting over in Arabic”, he said. He quickly followed it up with, “sorry I’m having trouble hearing you in Arabic”. I’m amazed by how much he stores in his memory and how much he says now. Later in the afternoon he was listening to a video and I realized it was in a language I hadn’t really heard before but I could tell he knew it. He kept laughing at different moments as the video was playing. We had a few behavioral issues but for the most part, we ended up both being happy and having a good day. If I could convince him not to eat my hair that would be amazing. He fell asleep and I hope today is the night he sleeps through. He will be so happy to see his teacher and friends tomorrow. Find your strength, push forward, and know that you can do great things in this world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The screaming. It echoes through my mind. I breathe. I want to cry, I want to scream too, but I breathe. Owen woke within minutes of me falling asleep it seems. He was able to tell me why he woke up. He still doesn’t understand he has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I have to remember these are the steps to body awareness and that means he is growing. I couldn’t convince him to stay in his bed and I was too tired to try so off to my bed we went. About that time it started raining. My heart aches for my sweet baby O. He screamed and screamed and screamed. He wanted the rain to stop and he wanted it to stop now. It’s hard to explain I can’t turn off the rain. It’s even harder to explain that in my room because of the pitch of the room it sounds even louder than in his room. His room used to be my room but I gave him my room because it’s the quietest room in the house. But when you can hear every single noise magnified the world is noisy no matter where you are. Sleep finally won for Owen but it took me a while to rest. I watched him sleep and prayed he would sleep late. Saturday routine is the same as through the week routine, he was up by five. Luckily he had a good morning. He ate a large breakfast, asked for grandma about fourteen million times, and wanted me to sit so he could sit next to me. He couldn’t wait to get to grandma’s house though. He also couldn’t wait until I got there to pick him back up again. He stayed for several hours but he also gets very anxious with his routine and he started looking for me to come to pick him up. As soon as I got there he told me “go to sleep and then I go to church”. He also talked about going to school and going to therapy. He is so afraid his routine is going to go away again. When we got home he had a great night. He once again ate a huge dinner but he pretty much ate from the minute we got home. His words felt very strong today even though he wouldn’t answer any of the questions I asked. He did spell for me on the way home from grandma’s. I hoped to distract him from the screams in the car. He fell asleep quickly and he made sure I knew he was going to church tomorrow. I prayed a lot today. I prayed that tomorrow he gets to go to church and that he feels completely better. I know his behavior issues also stem from him not feeling well and everything is amplified sensory-wise. He sang with Alexa and Siri and he played his ukulele with a music video today. I love my little music man and I’m amazed at him every day. Never give up on the hope of tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I have to say Owen is feeling better. He has drainage but he certainly had more energy today. He was still very clingy but also happy with a side of cranky. He kept telling me he was “happy” though. And I could tell he was feeling better because he ate a huge breakfast before he went to school. When he was eating he asked me for yogurt. He hadn’t wanted to eat yogurt in a long time so I stopped getting it. I was getting a grocery delivery today so I added yogurt to the list and when he came home I gave it to him. He actually ate it and with a spoon. I love when he eats without hesitation with his spoon. It took a long time for him to use utensils and he really isn’t a fan of using them now. Before he left for school he was laughing and yelling “pooky pie”. He then asked Siri to translate it. She didn’t know what pooky pie was and he asked her to translate porcupine into Portuguese. She said it and he asked her again for “pooky pie”. I think he is trying to get her to translate a different language’s version of a porcupine but saying it how he understands it or possibly likes to say it that way. Whichever way it is Owen was laughing about it. It cracks me up when he says her words back to her. “I’m having trouble hearing you”, he will say and laugh. He thinks it’s funny to yell it at her. I have to say his words are forming amazingly. I’m thankful for every word he says because I know how hard he works to say them all. He was watching a video with animal sounds and there was a “kudu” on the screen. I said the name incorrectly to see what he would do and he quickly corrected me. I asked him tonight what his favorite day of the week was and he immediately said, “Friday”. I stated the question again and he realized what I said. He started jumping up and down and he said, “Saturday go to grandma’s”. I have a feeling on Saturday after he goes to grandma’s and I ask him what his favorite day of the week is he will say Sunday because he goes to church. I’m happy about any of his favorite things. Find what makes you happy, enjoy your favorite thing, and know that you matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I like being on the progress train. Sleep I suppose was fine in our world but when you are excited about going back to school how can you sleep, really. So we woke up and Owen wanted to go and he wanted me “sit”. I always explain to him that if he wants to go to school I can’t sit but it’s a process. We got to the bus stop and he was so excited to see the bus. He was still a little nasally but he was certainly feeling like getting on that bus quick. Today was also “therapy therapy therapy” day. He loves going. His teacher is absolutely the best. She completely believes in all of her students and pours every ounce of love into these kids to help them grow. She is working on getting Owen to answer abstract questions. Like today’s question was asking about his favorite day of the week. The term “favorite” is a hard concept for him. I always talk to him about colors and what his favorite color is, explaining mine are pink, orange, and purple. I tell him though he might like all the colors or he might have a favorite texture instead and that is fine. He loves the feel of bricks. Well, today is a big, huge, bigger than huge, grandiose day. Owen answered what his favorite day of the week was. His teacher explained that at first, he answered “Thursday” but she said she didn’t mean what day of the week it was but which day he liked best. She said he thought about it and stated again “Thursday therapy” and then listied each of his therapist’s names. Pure, pure progress. She was elated, I’m elated, his grandma was elated, and his therapists were all overjoyed. It’s a concept and he got it. I’ve waited years for this moment. Tears float in my eyes for the victory of the day. He has a favorite day. My sweet baby O has a favorite day. When he can explain his wants and needs it’s fantastic but when he can tell me that he likes something this is pure joy. It feels like when he was able to ask for the toy rollercoaster he wanted. It’s a victory. The night wore on. His therapists said he had a great day but they could tell he was tired. He sat with me most of the night and fell asleep quickly. I can’t wait to watch him grow tomorrow. Smile and the world will smile with you. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Dancing in the living room, thanking God for how the day went, and praying for Owen to go to school tomorrow. We had a really good day. There were a few behavioral moments from both of us and one of us may have shed a few tears but the journey was well worth it. Owen wanted to dance again with me today. I think the strategy was so he could bite my hair but he danced with me. He can read me like a book and he can tell by my emotions, my grimace, and my sounds that I don’t like when he bites my hair. He likes to bite my hair so he can see my emotions, me grimace, and hear the sounds I make. He wants to see my reactions. I never imagined how he would feed off my emotions and I never imagined how hard it would be to try and hide my emotions from him or not say a word when something bothers me. He wanted to dance and it started with his feet on mine again but then he tried to climb in my arms and he pulled my hair. It was the look in his eyes that told me he had a motive. I don’t know how to get behaviors to stop. When I think they are gone they resurface. Like he hadn’t tried to eat my hair in quite a while and then there it was again. Now it’s like ten or more times a day he tries to come bite my hair. Part of these behaviors I know are actions for being out of routine for so long and I hope it will get better when he is back in school. We went to get his glasses replaced. Before we even left he started yelling at me in the car. I didn’t start the engine, telling him we would not go anywhere if he continued to yell at me. He stopped yelling and before I could say anything else he said “sorry mommy”. I told him thank you and that I was very proud of him for telling me he was sorry. We got to the eye doctor’s office and we didn’t have to wait long for them to put his lenses in the new frames. When we got in the car he took his glasses off and I asked him why he did it. He said, “he saw a deer”. I told him that he would see deer better if he left his glasses on. When we got home he didn’t take his glasses off nearly as much as he had been doing so I’m hoping this pair will last longer. He requested “ten chicken nuggets french fries iced tea iced coffee with extra cream no sugar” so we went and got most of what he requested. He won’t drink iced tea and the iced coffee was for me. He ate almost all of it when we got home so I could tell he was feeling much better and his eyes were brighter again. I can tell he still had a little bit of drainage but thankfully he was feeling much better. Siri, Alexa, and Owen were having some very in-depth conversations. He even asked Alexa phrases in Arabic to translate into Arabic, Russian, and Portuguese. This has been a long week and a half for us. Routine means everything to him and school is something he misses more than anything. In his sleep, I heard him saying, “be with mommy”. I know it is on his mind that he isn’t going to get to go to school tomorrow, and I pray he can and have a great day. When we got ready for bed he had to make sure I told Alexa and Siri good night. Even through our few challenges, I count this day as a big victory. Go after your dreams and know that you can do it. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen was feeling much better today but I knew I was not going to send him to school because Wednesday is a professional learning day for the teachers so no school for the students. Since he has been out so long I knew it would be hard for him to go one day and then off the next. His teacher agreed. So hopefully he will be back in school on Thursday. I tried to not reference school since I already had his hopes up for Monday and then he got sick. I told him that he would be with mommy but we were going to go do something tomorrow. This is where the emotional rollercoaster took off. He said it softly and then said it multiple times. “Look in your nose”, he said and then immediately grabbed his nose. When he had the test I tried to explain to him why they had to do it but how can that possibly make sense to him. It made me sad because he was referencing the test. But he was able to express his emotions. It’s one of those moments that’s so hard for me because I hate that he even had to take the test but thankful that he can express his emotions and tell me that he didn’t like it. I told him that we were going to hopefully get his glasses fixed tomorrow. This had mixed reactions from him. He was ready to go right away but mad when I told him we couldn’t go until at least tomorrow. However, when I talked to him about it later in the night he said he didn’t want to go. I think it’s all hard on him. We’ve been home so much that it is hard for him to understand about leaving the house and the times for us to leave. He mostly had a good day but he had several outbursts leading to meltdowns but we worked through them. They were related to where we were going and why we weren’t going but we got through our day and he and Alexa were best buds. “I can’t do that in Arabic”, he said and laughed when she repeated it. He’s really starting to share his words and emotions. I pray he sleeps the night. He didn’t sleep all night last night but we slept better. Every step forward is the progress I like to see. Find your happiness and make your dreams come true. Smiles to all and donut daze!