Owen woke up telling me he “slept upper night” and then immediately went into talking about his non-field trip field trip. I told him that there was no school because of a plumbing problem so that meant he would not be going to the Clay Center. He said, “very disappointed.” He then told me it was spring break and once again said he was very disappointed. He asked me if we could go next week and followed it up with April, May, and June. I believe that is some incredible growth right there. It took a lot for him to process it and even though we had our moments throughout the morning that were hard he was able to keep pushing forward on it.

Since he wasn’t going to school and I had to go to my physical therapy I told him that he got to go to his grandma’s house. He was thrilled. He went through all the places he wanted her to pick him up. I told him that she was going to meet us at Kroger and his excitement bubbled over. It is wild how important these places are to him and all the memories they invoke. I made sure he knew that he may not be going to her house tomorrow since he was going today.

We got ready and we met his grandma at Kroger. They were off to their adventures and I was off to mine. He stayed with her for several hours and the food checklist was thoroughly exhausted. I’m thankful he is a good eater. She brought him home after a few rounds by the “blue church” and his beloved “burger boy” statue. They hadn't been there in a while but it was definitely on his list of places he wanted to go today.

When he got home he told me he was not going to his grandma’s house tomorrow. I told him we could do other things and he said, “Stay home.” When she dropped him off he wanted to make sure I took a video of her leaving and he was very excited about it. He very rarely watches them right away but he loves the videos he has of people coming and going. It is amazing how much his world has changed now that he wants to see pictures and videos.

We have a very busy week ahead. Every day we have something and he is excited about all the ones he knows about. I asked him what he wanted for dinner and after telling me everything he didn’t want today he finally decided on pancake sausage dogs. I have learned it goes much better if we compromise on food and I don’t blame him. He is a great eater when he gets what he wants to eat. He told me this week he wanted “chicken duckling soup” and I told him we could order some. I can’t correct him yet. I like his version so much better. It will come and since he is saying each word correctly we will put it on his list but I’m not rushing it.

He keeps asking to throw his “design jeans” away. He took them off and tried to throw them away. I told him that they were in too good condition to throw away so we would give them away but they still fit him and he loved to wear them. He put them back on. It is very interesting how this is becoming a thing. I was so in shock with his “little blue jeans” and how he wanted to throw them away that I let it all play out as he needed but I feel like if I let him throw these away this will become the new way to get rid of things so I am telling him we have to give away everything he doesn’t want. Hopefully, that will help.

He brought me his tablet and he had a barn pulled up. He told me he wanted a barn for Frisbee the name he has given the dog we are going to get and the purple cows he wants. I told him to bring me our notebook so we could write it down. I have been talking to him about goals and things he wants. When he thinks of things I write them down. He likes it. I want him to understand goal setting and that he can accomplish anything if he sets his mind to it. I want him to see how he can make it happen.

The rest of the day went quickly and we talked a lot about “shorts degrees” and what he wanted to do for his birthday. He has big plans. Get up, have one of our friends drive him to grandma’s house, have another friend drive him home, and then stay home. We will see how it goes next week. Fourteen on the fourteenth seems hard to believe. I’m loving his progress, excited for his dreams, and thankful for his smile. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Focused, rinsed, repeated, and repeated again. Owen was very happy about food once again and made sure everyone who gave him food knew they were appreciated. He could not wait to see all his people and go to all his appointments for today and the year ahead. On Saturday he told me he wants McDonald’s for breakfast, Burger King for lunch, and Gino’s pizza for dinner. I think he forgot about snacks but I’m sure he wanted those too.

The morning didn’t go quickly enough for him but it gave us lots of time to talk about all the details of life. I think his trip is a go-go. He kept mentioning it and who was going to ride on the elevator with him. He loves elevators and we have spent many hours riding up and down them per his request. He was very focused on therapy and seeing everyone. It is wonderful knowing how many people are in his corner.

The day didn’t go according to plan but sometimes we need to change things up even though it can be extremely hard for him. And me. Change is not something I’m good at but it can be harder for him because he is expecting certain things to happen and when they don’t he can’t always process this change immediately. He literally will ask me about something that changed months or years ago even if it is something that he is happy about.

His day got turned a little upside down. One of his therapists couldn’t be there so the other two switched times so he wouldn’t have to wait in between the sessions. He wasn’t thrilled with this and had lots of questions but was handling it. I had let his teacher know so she could prepare if he was asking about his therapy. She said he got upset but I think it was good to let him know. I also think as hard as it is on him when changes happen it is still good to switch it up to help him through it and to learn how to cope with change.

As a mother, I am not only processing my emotions I am processing Owen’s and experiencing those moments with him. It’s the great ones, the middle of the road emotions, and the ones that are so hard to our core that we both have to learn about. My heart aches for how difficult change is for him and everything that he is going through but it is also something that I have to learn to deal with and teach him the coping skills to get through it. The calmer I am the calmer he will be. I always tell him we are a team and that we are learning life together. We live, we love, we learn. And not necessarily in that order.

Thankfully he handled both of his sessions well. He went through some adjustments but was able to work through it. Even in these circumstances I am glad to have other people work with him on these moments because they each offer a different perspective and this helps him grow. We got Chick-fil-A after great discussions of what we wanted. We both enjoyed it. He was telling me all the steps they are supposed to do tomorrow. First middle school, second trip, third middle school he told me, and went over this many times.

You never know where and when and why the meltdown is going to come from or occur. And today’s came because he wants to know when our family is coming back to visit us from Florida. He wanted it on his calendar and he wanted it on his calendar immediately. We did a lot of deep breathing exercises to get through that. Trying to explain to him that they don’t even know is extremely hard and emotional for him.

He changed out of his clothes and put on his “design jeans.” They are quickly becoming night clothes I suppose. He wanted his design jeans on and his purple shirt. He asked me for a purple sweatshirt and a grey one. He is doing much better about turning his clothes inside out. It takes him a few tries but he will get it.

My heart broke a few hours later when I got the message that there were plumbing problems at his school so they wouldn’t be able to go on their trip. We were notified right before his bedtime so I held it together but he still knew something was up. “Dear God thank you for Ms. Jeannie Amen” and then in true O fashion he said, “Mommy and Jeannie go to the clay center next week.” I did not say a thing to him about it being canceled in fact I acted like I knew nothing and he still started talking about going with his teacher next week instead of tomorrow.

I am so sad for him but I have to believe there is a reason or so I’m trying to convince myself of this. The good news is I have a physical therapy appointment so he will be going to see his grandma tomorrow when I go. I am thankful for his growth and for continuing to move forward. He told me he laughed for me today because he knows I love his laugh. Let the world hear your laughter. You probably don’t realize how much you are making someone else’s day. Smiles to all and donut daze!

A pretty good morning was being had by all. When you are happy about all of the holidays that are coming up over the next few years it makes for a great time. Singing Christmas carols and knowing that you get to see Santa in November and December is a dream come true. And that dream come true is for me because Owen wants all of these things and more.

We spent most of our morning talking about the Easter egg hunt at church. He wants everyone to be there and celebrate with him. The only catch is it is on a Wednesday and he is not exactly sure how he feels about that yet but when we went through every holiday and where we were going to be it might be fine to have the egg hunt on a Wednesday especially when we can sing Jingle Bells.

Today was my follow-up appointment. I wasn’t stressed about it. They would have called me by now if there was a problem since my results had been in for several days. We got ready and I was going to head to my appointment after I got him on the bus. The bus was finally off. He was very happy to get his day started. He told me that he was going to be very happy today. And with that, I was also off to my appointment.

I had no new cancer markers present. They will test me every three months for two years and then every six months after that. I was thankful before my results and I know God has been walking with me along this journey the whole time. Each day is a gift and I’m thankful.

When he got home he was wound up. I expressed this morning that I didn’t want to talk about licking, biting, or hitting which clearly means those were the things that he wanted to bring up more. He got off the bus referencing Friday as a “field trip” but I made sure he knew there was no field involved. I’m hoping he doesn’t change his mind.

I asked him what he wanted for dinner and he said, “Chicken duckling soup.” He was still very wound up. He was showing me on Google Earth every single food place he has ever been to in the area and telling me what they have there. He wanted his grandma to take him to the roadside park and then I would come to pick him up. He said, “Tell Grandma bye bye love you Grandma muah” and blew a kiss. Then he told me all the places she was going to drive him around. He had lots of plans.

And just like that he changed from what he was wearing today to his “design pants” and his dinosaur shirt. He kept saying they are “dir” and wants me to finish the dirty. I told him I can’t wash them if he was wearing them. He put his shoes back on but doesn’t want to go anywhere. It is interesting how he has decided that he needs to change into other outfits especially the “design jeans.”

He also kept asking if he could throw his design jeans away. I told him first that he was still wearing them, second, that he likes them and they are in good shape. Not quite sure why this has become a thing now but he wants to throw away more of his clothes. We will see how this goes.

Bedtime was met with screams not for the actual bedtime, but because of all of his emotions from the day. We talked about screaming and he was finally able to settle down. We had a great time right before he went to bed. His smile is the best and it’s what gets me through a lot of my days. Let your smile shine and share it with the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Is it truly only Tuesday?! This week feels like it should already be on next Friday. The morning started a lot like yesterday ended. Owen was very happy he got to see all his people and told me he hoped he got to see them all again next Monday. He immediately told me he “slept upper night” and then went through his week ahead. His trip is still on his radar and I couldn’t be happier. His happiness makes me believe he will go but to see him actually go will be pure joy.

He was very calm when he first woke up. The anxiousness and questions came as he got ready to go to school. I casually asked if he would like to go somewhere when he got home. I moved forward quickly but I wanted to throw it out there. Today was probably not the day to ask him but I like to offer and we need to find a way to change it up without it causing anxiety for him.

The bus came and took my sweet baby O to school. He was so happy to be going. I am so thankful he likes school. I can only imagine if he didn’t. He is all about his non-field trip field trip, summer camp, and Halloween. His prediction is that he will get to see his best friend and that will make him very happy.

You never know where inspiration will come from. Knowing that Google Earth changed our lives is something that is truly remarkable. It shows that anything is possible with the right tools and encouragement. I am thankful and I know that it will grow from here. He has been able to communicate so many things by showing me places on Google Earth.

His bus was a little late coming home and had a different driver. He immediately told me that there was a different driver and started telling me about his day. I know he had a few rollercoastery moments so I was glad he was able to express how he was feeling. He told me he had fun at lunch and liked his shirt. They had another fun day with their Dr. Seuss week and he got a new Thing 2 shirt.

He walked into the room and said, “Have a good one.” He started waving his hand and waited for my reply. I said, “Have a good one I love you” and I signed I love you. He walked out of the room and came back a short time later going through the exact same steps. He did this several more times adding in the I love you sign.

In other news, his “design pants” might be the next to go. He keeps asking when the trash truck can take them away. They had a rain dot on them and he was not happy. I told him it would be fine and we would wash them. He kept telling me to take them to the trash truck. I told him he wouldn’t have any clothes left if he threw them away. So far they have stayed out of the trash. It is interesting how this all goes now with his clothes.

I swallowed wrong and started coughing. He was very concerned about this. He told me I threw up and was looking all around for it. I tried to explain I swallowed wrong but he was not interested in what happened he wanted to know if I was going to the doctor. I told him I was fine and I would be OK. It is amazing everything he thinks about and what has to happen. He also wanted me to know he is happy about eating things he shouldn’t eat and asked me if I thought it was a joke.

He wanted to know if it would be shorts degrees tomorrow and I said not quite yet. He is ready for the snow not to be a concern. He sat with me for a while before bed and we laughed at his different videos. Growth is a beautiful thing to watch and I’m so thankful. I told him that he was amazing. Today’s raw moments were hard but seeing the sparkle in his eyes when he pushed through all those moments and laughed is exactly what this momma’s heart needed. Life is not always easy to explain but the love sure is. Be invested in tomorrow and know that your attitude can move that mountain. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen slept until almost six. He went through his usual greeting and then started talking about everyone he would see and hopes he would see today. Mondays are very exciting for him. He was very happy that the weather was changing or so we think. He couldn’t wait to get going and start his day which also meant it would be full of questions. He had big plans. And you probably guessed it lots of food is involved.

I could tell it was going to be an interesting day from the beginning. He wanted to know what he wanted to know and if I didn’t know, he still wanted to know. These days can be hard because when I don’t have the answers or I won’t tell him an answer that he thinks I know then he gets very upset and the screams happen. I can tell him all kinds of dates and they don't mean anything, but it’s hard when he never forgets if he wants something in stone.

And he was off. He helped me with the trash this morning, and it was a lot smoother for him than some of the other days. He was so happy to get on that bus. He was counting the days until the non-field trip field trip. So thankful it sounds like he is going. That consumed a lot of our talk this morning. He wanted to make sure he knew who was going, and if he was going to eat breakfast before he went to the event. He knew the answer but once again he wanted to hear it from me.

I picked him up from school for his music therapy and the whole way to see his therapist he had more questions. He wanted to know if his best friend was going to be at the summer camp and then he asked about Halloween not only for this year but for next year as well. I told him when I always tell him I sure hope so. He gets upset with me if I can’t give him all the details and we were working on trying to be in the moment and not stress out over all the days ahead. His therapist said he did really well and he was able to stay on point.

On the way home it was all about whether he was going to our friend’s house during spring break. She had already told him yes we would make a plan but no day has been set yet. He was very anxious and didn’t take any of the answers that I was giving him when we got home he was calmer, except that he wanted to know who was going to be at his vision therapy appointment. I told him that I wouldn’t know until we got there.

When we got to his vision therapy, he was so incredibly happy to be there. I’m so thankful for a staff that truly cares about my son. We met with Dr. Miller and he started doing his exercises after of course making sure that all of his requirements were in place. He then asked about Anita to see if she was there and she just happened to be there today. She came into the room and he was very excited even though he couldn’t look at her.

It’s always interesting to watch him want someone to talk to him but he’s so excited that he can’t process it and so he will not talk to them or talk to them with his back to them and his hands to his ears. He always tells me that he has to put his hands to his ears so he can get excited. He did so incredibly well with all the exercises and has been doing things that he couldn’t do before. They walked him out to our car. He wanted to make sure he got a picture with both Dr. Miller and Anita. Before we even left the parking lot he wanted to make sure I sent him the picture.

All night long, he pulled up the picture and was so happy. I think about all of the things he is now accomplishing, and it starts with something as simple as the picture. For years, he wanted no videos, no pictures, no schedule, written down, or anything else in these types of formats and now it’s amazing to see the request and everything that he wants. This victory is years in the making, and the challenges he faced, still got him to one of the most incredible times of his life where a picture truly is worth a thousand words. These victories mean the world to me because I know all the steps it took to get him to that victory lane. Cherish your victories, no matter how big or small because each one of those steps is what this miracle is all about. Smiles to all and donut daze!

My church cheerleader was leading the cheer the moment he woke up. It was a quick start to our conversation. “Slept upper night,” Owen said as soon as he heard me. Oh, how I wish I could be quieter in the mornings. It won’t always help but I know there are days he would sleep later. It doesn’t help that his bedroom is so close to the kitchen and the bathroom. He continued, “Good morning sunshine how are you today I’m fine mommy how are you today Bible Center Church get to go to Bible Center Church mommy.” For the love of God and routine, I was thankful he woke up in a good mood.

Knowing that your attitude helps determine your day may or may not have influenced how the morning went but thankfully there were no screams for the first part of our morning. “Church church church” was the big discussion followed by how many food places we can go to and where they live. I was thankful that he was happy this morning and excitement filled the air for him. Clay Center chatter was also on the radar. He has big plans and I’m here for it all. And I’m hoping he is there for all his big plans. He spelled out all the exact details so I think that is helping him with everything.

The attitude adjustments were needed about halfway through our morning. He expects me to have all the answers and when I don’t it triggers emotional responses quickly. I can’t convince my brain to tell him something for the sake of telling him something. I find that the snowball effect from these moments is lasting and the benefit of telling him something that isn’t necessarily true can cause meltdowns when what he thinks doesn’t come true. It is the same though if I don’t tell him what he wants to hear this either leads to the meltdown at that point or he will keep asking the question until he gets an answer. And sometimes I’m tired. To keep ahead of the fast-moving train you can’t be the caboose.

I want to find him a summer “job” he could do for an hour or two a couple of times a week. Like putting together papers or packages. I feel like it would be good for him to go through the motions and know that he would have something to do. I am going to see what I can figure out for him to do.

The rollercoaster ride got a little more complicated before we left for church but we got there. The dude wants what the dude wants and he wanted knowledge that I did not have. He also did not want me to forget something and have to go back inside before we even left. I know when this happens it’s not going to be pretty but I still have to do and he still has to learn about the process of doing it. He enjoyed church and told me about everyone. We got his requested Arby’s and he wanted a chocolate shake. He has had a few bites and talked about it.

When we left church I let a family cross in front of us in the crosswalk. He usually gets upset and says “Tell me to pay attention.” He said, “You told the woman to cross tell her bye-bye.” I thought no screaming a big score for us and different words. After we got our food we were driving home and he said, “Merry Christmas have a great spring break.” I told him that it wasn’t Christmas until December, like he didn’t know this, and he said, “It’s cold and then it’s spring break.” So there you go. Makes sense to me.

We managed to maintain our status quo of calmness after we got home from church. I think the warmer weather is making him think no snow and that he will get to wear shorts again soon because that is what he talked about all afternoon. I can’t believe it’s almost spring break and then it’s birthday time for my sweet baby O. Bedtime was a smooth as the rest of the day’s bumps but we got there as well and he prayed for his teacher to have a good day. If he knows you he has prayed for you and if he doesn’t know you he has prayed for you. And boy am I thankful for his prayers. Life isn’t about having no challenges, life is about letting those challenges get you to your next victory. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Oh, how he was ready for his day with Grandma. He slept until five and came out swinging. Well screaming. He wanted to make sure he was not missing his day. Oh, how winter has been hard. The snow worries on top of our regular worries have added to all our worries. I told him to take a pause and reset as I wasn’t even awake yet. Round two was better and we worked on our breathing a lot so then he wanted to know the time, who is picking him up or dropping him off through the summer, the outfits we will be wearing, and what restaurants we will be going to. Good morning world. It was going to be a rocky kinda day.

Sometimes the hardest part is waiting out the moments, bracing myself for the screams or the repetitive questions until I answer or can redirect him for two seconds only for him to cycle back through what I redirected him from. If he wants something he wants it that moment. He will take my hands even if I am in the middle of something. He doesn’t understand that I could drop something or have to start all over because I wasn’t able to finish my thoughts. My heart races in these moments I know it is going to be a long day. Some days it is hard for him and some days he is having a great day and does it because he sees how frazzled I get when he interrupts me every few seconds for a hug or kiss on his forehead that he will plant on my lips mid-sentence. And he finds it all amusing.

He wanted his grandma to pick him up. I told him that I had to wait until I talked to her since I had the appointment. She agreed and came to pick him up at eleven since my CPR class started at noon. It is one of the requirements of the program that Owen is on. The morning was anything but calm. He asked every few minutes what was happening. I gave him all of the steps but he was very concerned about them.

His concerns didn’t stop there. He was worried that his teacher would be back in August, that he wouldn’t see his friend in October, and who was going to take him to all the different events he wanted to go to. I tried to comfort his needs, but when you have something on your mind, you have something on your mind.

He wanted to wear his “design jeans” but he kept taking them out of the laundry so they were not getting washed. I told him that I had to wash them before he could wear them today so he finally gave them to me. I put them in the wash but I can never hear when the dryer goes off, so I set a timer. He turned off the timer so I went down early to get them, but they were not dry. I did not have time to go back down so he didn’t get to wear them today. I explained to him this is why I tell him not to turn off the timer when I ask him not to.

We quickly finished getting ready and we went outside to meet his grandma. They were off for their adventure, and I went to my class. After it was over, I went to pick him up and he immediately started talking to me about the fact that he wasn’t wearing his “design jeans.” I asked him if he remembered why he wasn’t wearing them and he told me that they were wet. I asked him again if he knew why they weren’t dry and he was able to tell me he turned off the timer. I hope that when more things like this happen, he will be making more connections to the event events like today.

We got home and he immediately put on “his design” pants because they had time to dry. We got a pizza and a calzone per his request but our main conversation was about whether we get to go to church tomorrow. I told him that we would get to go if we did not have a repeat of the morning we had today and he had to listen. I pray that tomorrow there is no more screaming and we can go to church.

The night was filled with no screaming, thankfully. He can’t wait to go to church tomorrow and told me how everyone says hi to him, “Hello Mr O hello friend” and he went on and on. He did a lot of his breathing exercises, but they were about an inch from my nose. At least he was doing them. Bedtime came and we said our prayers. Mine was about keeping us moving forward and his was about thanking God for our Church. I walked back to my room and we had our nightly conversation as I walked. After I said, I love you he said, “Amen.” And with that, our day was done. I was thankful for the laughter we shared in the smiles that he gave me. I pray for a great morning and a wonderful day ahead. The top of the mountain only seems unreachable if you don’t take the first step. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“Slept upper night,” I heard Owen say from his bed. He went on “Good morning mommy how are you today I’m fine it’s Friday shorts in April.” He went through many months reciting the clothes he could wear and the weather status of each month. I never know if I’m going to get the weather report, our fashion choices, or what restaurant we are visiting soon. Not to mention the report on his day and who he wants to see.

He asked when we were going to “eat together again” with his grandma. I love that he is enjoying eating with people now. It makes my heart so happy. He is ready for everyone to wear shorts - I mean he is ready for him to wear shorts and everyone else to wear what he wants them to wear. He was very concerned that I was getting up too many times to get my coffee. Sometimes he needs me to sit and he cannot handle it when I am walking around the house. Calm mornings are helpful so some days I sit more than other days.

Once again the bus app was not working. Truly this is a problem so we went out early once again. I am trying to teach him that not everything goes according to plan and sometimes we have to do other things when we are waiting. When we came home yesterday I had to park down the street because there were no open spots in front of our house. I wanted to move our car closer so I had him get in with me while I moved it. I could have waited until after he left but we still had at least ten minutes until the bus arrived so I knew we would have plenty of time. He was not happy about this but I walked him through all the steps and he handled it. We got out of the car and talked about it.

We worked on our breathing exercises as we waited. I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said, “a red present.” It is always interesting what he comes up with. He was also very distracted by everything that was happening but I try to keep interacting with him in these types of moments so that he could learn to regulate himself and recognize that these types of situations happen. I also try to be respectful of those moments when I know he cannot handle it and move forward. He has to be able to process it without being uncomfortable or stressed to the point of a meltdown. The bus came and I told him he was amazing. He wanted to make sure he got to stay all day and no snow was coming.

He was a happy dude when he came home because his day went according to plan. He was very excited about all the food that we have ever eaten, the food that he wants to get tomorrow, and the restaurants that he wants to go to with all his people. He moved on to the pools that he wants to go to this summer and the people who will be accompanying him. It is amazing how quickly he goes through the facts and moves on to the next subject.

He also made sure I knew that the Clay Center was not at the field and that they have a statue outside. He also informed me that he can’t go swimming there. We then talked about that to confirm no diving into any of the water features there. It truly sounds like he is going to go on this non-field trip field trip and I am so excited for this connection.

The night continued with him pulling dirty clothes out of the clean laundry and putting the clean laundry into the laundry basket. My head spins with all the things I need to stay one step ahead of. He went from always screaming about laundry to now pulling all the laundry out and putting it everywhere. I have to find a better solution because telling him not to do something magnifies it and he tries ten times harder to do something so I can’t act like the laundry is a problem because this makes it harder on me. So I breathe.

The rest of the night was food filled with lots of questions and a few screams about when he would be going to his grandma’s house and if it was going to snow this weekend. I could only answer one of those with a yes. He was ready for bed because that meant going to grandma’s house “not at five oh oh eleven oh oh.” It didn’t take him long and his prayer was for his grandma. His smile is what I needed tonight. Sometimes when the world feels tough it is hard to keep pushing forward but the more you stay positive the more positive things will happen and walking forward will get that much easier. Keep moving forward and those positive words will get you there. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sometimes I feel like the train is constantly going and I’m always boarding late from the wrong station, sometimes. We recycled most of the discussions from yesterday but he was very excited about his day ahead. He couldn’t decide if he wanted a pizza and calzone or if he wanted to go to all of the other restaurants. I knew it would be a last-minute decision.

He was very focused on when he gets to go to the Clay Center and what will be happening. I am happy he is considering it and at least talking through it. I am anxiously anticipating and hoping for a spectacular non-field trip for him. I think once he gets through tomorrow and knows that it is next week it will help him. He is talking about who will ride on the elevator with him and what else he will do when he is there so it feels like a big step for him.

The bus app was not working once again and it was also trash day. He did great about helping me get the trash outside but he wasn’t as thrilled about taking it to the curb. It was disrupting his waiting time but it is something we still need to work on because he has to understand that sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do when there are other things happening. I also have to be aware of when this is actually a teachable moment or if it is going to cause a meltdown and that was certainly not what we needed right before he was about to get on the bus.

Pause and reset is exactly what we had to do. When he was carrying one of the bags he turned it upside down and something fell out of it. I told him it was fine and I would get it but he got very upset. He picked it up and licked it. We did many breathing exercises before he left because he was licking and biting everything that was and was not “bleeding” or being “caught” on something. But he was happy to be going to school. The breathing exercises helped and he was calm by the time the bus got there.

It’s hard knowing that any reaction I give him is going to be how the following years go or moments. Whichever comes first. He hangs on to how I handle something or an expression I make. Sometimes I don’t even realize I am doing something until he relives the moments with you. Like the “bleeding” or something getting “caught.” It could have been something anyone said to him or a video he watched. It’s like needing everyone to wear blue jeans. We have cycled through this since 2020. We are in a pretty good place with it right now so I’m thankful he is not as focused on it.

So much information on the way to therapy. He was telling me everything. He wanted me to know about the activities they did and talked about the Clay Center. I asked him if he wanted to get something to eat after his therapy and he said, “Straight home.” And we went straight home. He wanted the food we had at home. He kept talking about going to see Mary C Snow Elementary and that was that. He didn’t actually want me to drive him by it but wanted to know why he wasn’t going by it anymore with the bus or his grandma. I told him because he goes by the blue church now. He never forgets a thing and always wants to do all the things unless he doesn’t.

I talked to his occupational therapist about him getting things “caught” and “bleeding” to see if she had anything we could work on. She told me that when she was putting the swing away in their session it actually got caught. She told me that they worked through how they had to move the chair. She took a picture of it and showed it to him again later and he was able to tell her that they had to move the chair. It helped me think of ways to work on this with him and I will show him the picture as well.

“Oh-when,” he said emphasizing his name and sounding a lot like me when I am trying to get him to do something. He laughed every time he said it. His laugh is the best. Our night was pretty quiet except for the talks about what he was doing for the rest of February and technically the whole year. He had a few moments where he was screaming at me but I tried to redirect him and I finally had to let him work it out. Bedtime came with a happiness in knowing that he was going to school tomorrow. He went through the hours that he can and cannot have his tablet, thanked God for school tomorrow, and told me that he loved me. And with that, it was officially nighttime. The best thing is knowing he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Live life forward. Positive words and positive actions equal a positive life. Smiles to all and donut daze!

When you ask when the next snowstorm is coming through you might be getting this whole winter thing down. Owen slept all night and wanted to make sure I knew it. He then immediately started asking about the snow. He wanted to make sure all his days were going to be fine and that they had internet on his tablet at school. Which reminded me I still need to get his internet setup on his tablet.

He was very playful this morning and laughing a lot. I asked him if he wanted to go on an adventure today when he got home from school and he quickly said, “No.” He emphasized it many more times but I wasn’t surprised and I didn’t expect it would change when he got home. Only one adventure per week I suppose. He needs the downtime when he comes home to process his days and he likes to be home.

The bus app, truly who needs it? It only works half the time which just causes more stress because we have to go outside earlier to make sure we don’t miss the bus. When we are outside he asks every few moments when it is coming. He was excited when the bus turned the corner. He then quickly went through all the people he would see when he got to school and off he ran to get on the bus.

And he was off. I had a feeling he would have a great day with all the happiness he wanted to share with me this morning even though there was also a little side of mischievousness mixed in there too. I am so thankful he loves going to school.

I went through a lot of stuff this morning. I am going to become the Queen of Organization at some point. I know it will help him because his “design pants” have somewhat become the “little blue jeans” of the past. He now moves them around from the laundry, out of the dresser, to the bin, and then to the clean clothes pile even when they are dirty so I have to figure out a system that he can help with the laundry to truly get the process.

Yesterday I put all his musical instruments in their cases. He took them all out last night and they are back to where he wants them. That works for me. He plays them as he watches things on his tablet. It is amazing how he knows where everything he wants should go even when I move something.

He got home and he was happy. We are making progress on the non-field field trip. He immediately got off the bus and went through numerous questions about whether Friday would be the last one of February. He wanted to make sure he stayed in school. Even though he knew all the answers he went through them again. He then told me about the Clay Center next Friday. I told him I was excited he was going. He mentioned that he wasn’t going to an “outside field trip only inside trip no fields.” He was very specific. Then we moved on to hitting and no-hitting talk. He said it’s wrong and it’s a joke.

The rest of the night was pretty calm. We danced and sang our way through it. He is excited about school and therapy tomorrow. He prayed about it and I know he is looking forward to his day. I see so much incredible growth and I’m very thankful. His laughter always makes me smile. Let today be the first day of the rest of your life. Know that you can be the change you want to see in the rest of the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!