A calm morning had by all. He was one excited dude for a full day of school and beyond ready to get out to the bus. He was talking about going to the dentist next week and knows he will not see “dentist Claus” because it is only Thanksgiving and not Christmas. He has never seen a Santa Claus at the dentist that I know of but there you go.

He said to me “Oh my word” in my voice. I thought about how many phrases he has stored in his mind ready to go at any given moment to use. He then said, “Owen Emerson do not sit on the vent.” I’m reliving all my wonderful words through the years. He is constantly reciting things that I said in the past.

“All done school at Thanksgiving break have turkey at grandma’s,” he said. The things he thinks of amaze me. He went through all the breaks he would have over the school year. He listed each one and then asked me when he would be going back to school. He knows the answer, but he wants to go over each thing again and again.

The bus app is like our fair-weather friend. The bus app wasn’t working again so we had to go out to wait for the bus early. Just when I get him looking at it poof it is gone again. He was excited though because he got to go out early. The pure joy that exudes from him when the bus gets here is magical. I wish we could all feel that much happiness all the time. He was off to his beloved school and oh so ready for his adventures tomorrow.

When he got home he wanted me to bite into his antics and I did not. He kept telling me he was going to rip books but instead, I kept asking him questions about school. He doesn’t like it when I ignore his behavior but I’m trying to get him to realize that we can talk about other things.

He was very amped up but he was listening to instructions. He let me take a phone call without any problem. They called to schedule my port removal at the end of December. I’m thankful that in general, he will allow me to have conversations on the phone without screaming the entire time or hanging up the phone.

He keeps talking about when he will have all his breaks. He wants to know when he will go to “college school” but knows he has to go to high school first. I keep telling him he needs to learn all he can in middle school and enjoy the work so he can go to college school. I’m so glad he loves school and is looking towards his future. I know if he sets his mind to it he will be able to go “college school” and accomplish anything he wants.

The night was filled with many behavioral moments, but thankfully it was also a great learning experience for both of us and I feel like by the end of the night. He was so much calmer. He knows his schedule will be different tomorrow and it took a lot for him to process it, but I know he will have fun on all his adventures. Thankful for the incredible gift of my son. Reach for the stars and know that you can make it. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The proudly proclaimer came to me to proclaim at “five oh oh” he slept all night. Quite the opposite for me but I was glad I had my energy yesterday. Owen was a live wire this morning, very excited for his day, and had happiness abound because his “little blue jeans are clean.” I have come to the conclusion that I need pictures of his people in dark blue jeans and other colored shoes so that he might shift his now narrower focus off the “little blue jeans” and white shoes to at least all the blue jeans and all the shoes. Otherwise, he was in a great mood and couldn’t wait to see his people on the bus.

He successfully picked out his bin without hesitation. It was the very light blue jeans and a camo shirt. He quickly put his shoes on and was ready to get out that door. He was anxious but listening to me about going outside. He is more interested in the bus app now so I hope that he continues to understand that it is showing when it will arrive. He told me again that he was going to tell his teacher that his grandma was picking him up. I wrote her a note and as I was writing it he was trying to rip it up. He thinks these behaviors are “funny” and he wants to joke about them. I wish I could figure out how to have him tell jokes so that he can comprehend when something is funny. That is my goal to help him write a joke that he understands and he can make people laugh.

He knew he had to help me with the trash. He is learning to carry the bags to the door and today he helped me carry them off the porch. He then realized they all needed to get to the curb and he was very helpful. He knows that we have to do this on Mondays and Thursdays. It will be a good learning experience for him to understand when they change the schedule for the holidays. Thankfully he is beginning to understand that we can still do the trash without it interrupting his bus watching moments. The bus came and over his shoulder, he told me everything that was happening today as he got on the bus.

I picked him up and on today’s adventure to therapy, I learned that he ate apples, peas, and pizza for lunch. I love that he is at least telling me foods, knowing that was probably not anything he had for lunch. He was very interested in bees and mosquitoes biting him because they would bite his finger to “make it bleeding.” Oh boy, how I wish he were not fascinated by blood and boo-boos.

He did great at therapy. His speech therapist is helping him make some great connections with his letters and word associations. He is also making great strides with his occupational therapist. They worked on different types of closures like snaps, buttons, and zippers. When she brought Owen to me he let me talk to her without interrupting. He has grown so much so incredibly much.

I am going to try putting his shoes in a left shoebox and a right shoebox to see if this helps him put his shoes on the correct feet. In general, if it doesn’t bother him it doesn’t bother me but I also want him to learn about shoes on the correct feet. Plus his one foot slightly turns in so the wear on his shoes when he keeps putting them on differently may cause other issues. He likes the jeans bins so hopefully it works for his shoes too.

I got some Medjool dates. They have a lot of nutrients in them and I knew they would help us both. I had him try a bite and he did. Once he ate it I said try it again. He didn’t say no so I offered it again. Three total bites of something so different than what he typically eats so I thought score. I will try again.

He has been calm but he keeps telling me all the things he thinks are funny and trying to break everything he touches. I’m not quite sure how to break him of the breaking things. It is like he is in the toddler stage now. And he breaks things quickly. I just don’t know how to move him past the breaking or destroying of things. It’s mostly exploration but he needs to learn why we don’t break things.

He was very much ready for bed. I am glad he has been sleeping better. His prayer tonight was thanking God for the movie trips he gets to go on. I love his prayers. They are real and raw and that makes my heart happy. His growth is amazing and I thank God every single day that I am here for it. Every step forward is a step forward. You can do it. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The mornings have been going so much better the last few days. It was going to be another exciting day for Owen. He was ready for school and our appointment with our program specialist. Then we were going to dinner with our friend and he was ready to sit under the trees at her house. His new adventure of wanting to shake everything is interesting but when it is his milk glass it’s not exactly my favorite time of the day. Back to closed cups. He was ready to get the day going.

The bins were working well for him. He still wanted to wear the lighter blue jeans so we will see how it goes when he has to wear darker ones tomorrow. He carried his phone around but I think he was still trying to figure out how to put it in his pocket. He is growing so fast. I’m thankful that he is making so many connections to everything.

My stomach nor energy were not as good as yesterday but I am beyond thankful to keep moving forward. I remind myself that it is now none. I have no more infusion so it keeps me going. On the upward trend. Owen can’t wait until I feel better so we can go back to yoga. He is also making big plans to go swimming and bowling with our friends.

The bus app was working but he would still like to be outside for the long wait. He did well though but he was licking and biting everything he could possibly think of to get me going. He thinks that if he does certain behaviors it will get me to move faster but I kept redirecting him and asking him to do different things. That brings out more interesting behaviors but we got to the bus finish line and he was off.

He was home before I knew it. The meeting we had went quickly and he was fine with that. He was excited for us to go to dinner with our friend. He ate a quick snack and then we were off. He only wants to go to “cracker burial” when we meet our friend. I tried to convince him to go someplace else but “nopedy nope” as he says. I will try a different approach for next time.

He had such an incredible time with her. He was giddy when he saw her. We had a great dinner. He could hardly contain himself but she is incredible at finding ways to keep him calm. When we were done with dinner we took her home and he was happy to sit under the tree with her. On the way home he kept asking when we would see her again. Now he wanted his phone because he wanted to take pictures of them singing and sitting under the tree. I will need to get his phone set up again.

I’m thankful for another great day with a sprinkle of interesting behaviors. I can see growth. Each day is a step forward. He fell asleep quickly and I know he was looking forward to school tomorrow. He wanted to make sure we weren’t going anywhere tomorrow. Let the gift of an amazing day give you the strength to face any of the challenges that are set in front of you. Smiles to all and donut daze!

My sweet baby O slept past “five oh oh.” The dude was on a roll. The level of excitement for his week ahead was already starting up as soon as he got out of bed. Bus, school, therapy, telling everyone that they can wear what they want to wear, and ordering his pizza made the top of his list but it didn’t stop there.

The slow motion express was chugging along for me but I at least had more energy than I did yesterday. I was thankful that I wasn’t feeling nearly as sick as I was. He was in ready, set, get out to wait for the bus mood. The time change has been very hard on him but thankfully he is handling it.

We discussed his bins and he was excited to wear the “designer jeans” today. He isn’t as excited that I didn’t put it with the gold shirt but I’m trying to stick with the plan of outfits. After a few weeks, I might have him put the outfits together and then put them in the bins but I want him to get the process first. Or so I think.

Today’s daily reminder that my son has an amazing brain was when he started reciting word-for-word how I have ordered our pizza over the last few times. He has a very long memory and the details he now says are incredible. I’m always amazed at what he chooses to say and how he tries to mimic someone’s voice.

The bus app was once again, not working and so it was rush, rush rush to get outside to make sure we didn’t miss the bus. As we waited, he was talking about his clothes and I could tell he was growing and figuring out so many things. He kept telling me he was going to tell his teacher that his grandma was going to pick him up. He told me that it was funny. The bus arrived, and he was off to start his day.

I should have sent a note to his teacher saying I was picking him up, especially when he had told me he was going to tell her that his grandma was going to. She texted me later in the day to make sure I was picking him up and I told her that I was. I got there in her little prankster still thought it was funny. We had it off to his music therapy and he talked to me the entire way there.

He was a hoot telling me all the things he wasn’t supposed to talk about and all the people he was supposed to be nice to. He was talking about his best friend and he wanted to know when he was going to see him again. He wanted me to take a picture of him in the waiting room so he could see what he looked like in his white shoes and he compared it to the picture he took with his best friend. He asked his therapist to play a bear game with him. When he was done, his therapist said he had an exceptional day.

He was very talkative all the way home. I heard a siren in the distance and I explained to him that we had to be quiet so we could hear where the sirens were coming from. He always tells me to pay attention, but I want him to understand that I am constantly having to pay attention to every sight and sound that is going on around us. I explained to him that if an emergency vehicle was coming our way we had to pull over to the side of the road. I wanted to make sure he understood that when something like that happens. I am paying attention and that is why I am stopping. He was able to recite back to me what I had said, and I’m hoping that will help us in the future.

We got home and we discussed what he was gonna order on his pizza again. He wanted black olives and sausage on one side and pepperoni and mushrooms on the other. It amazes me all of his choices that he is adding to his pizza now. We got ready and we headed out to his vision therapy.

He did great today. He was able to do a lot of the exercises and kept us laughing. Thankfully, he wasn’t upset about anyone’s clothing and he was able to concentrate. Her assistant isn’t gonna be there possibly for the next months, so he kept asking when he would see her again on the way home. We got our pizza and off we went.

“Oh my word Owen Emerson why did you pour your milk in the sink,” he said making his voice like mine and laughing hysterically saying “hysterically” in a whole different accent. He wasn’t pouring his milk down the drain today this reference was probably a few months ago or when he was little. I’m not sure. It truly amazes me how much he has stored in his mind and will bring up random conversations from years gone by.

The time change has definitely messed with him and he knows when it is bedtime. He brought me the bottle of his supplements, to take. He said, “Tell me night night.” It wasn’t long and it was truly time for Owen to go to sleep. Lots of talking lots of busyness but lots of growth. I’m thankful for a good day and I can’t wait to see what he accomplishes tomorrow. Focus on the good stuff and know that each step forward is a step forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The day started how yesterday ended. Owen’s prayer last night for thanking God for our church. He came to me at the new “five oh one” with the time change so I think he can read the clock because he is consistently coming right at five now. I heard him running to me, then he was an inch from my nose, and said, I get to go to Bible Center Church. It makes my heart happy that he loves our church and he knows that it is one of our special places.

He was calm for over an hour and then he began to spiral. I’m not quite sure what happened but all he wanted to do was yell at me. He was doing his breathing exercises but doing them fast so they were not helping. We talked for a few minutes about behavior and he went to sit in the other room. I think sometimes he starts trying to get me going and then he can’t figure out how to stop being upset or focused on watching my emotions, maybe. He is still learning to process it all.


“Bandaids three bandaids,” he said, “it took it away.” He looked at his hand where the boo boo had been. He said, “it’s clean.” I told him the skin heals over time but the bandaids helped protect it. He didn’t need three bandaids like he didn’t need five the time before but if one bandaid is good more is even better. It was easily a month or two ago when he last had a bandaid on, I think, but his memories weave in and out of our daily lives like a tight woven plaid that thickens with the different directions.

He wanted a straw with his milk. I love how he asks for what he wants now. I am trying to get him to understand he shouldn’t chew on the straw though. With that being said there may be a reason for him chewing. The good news he hasn’t been chewing his finger as much since he has been chewing the straw though. I make sure he isn’t chewing through the straw. He goes to the dentist next week so I will talk to her about what she thinks. We have tried so many different types of sensory chews and the straw is the only thing that he has somewhat liked.

I put together his full week of clothes sets in his new bins to see what he thought. I explained that these were his clothes for the week ahead and he got to choose the bin he wanted. When they were gone we would start again. I was surprised by how excited he got when he saw the “light blue” jeans in the bins. I was more shocked because he called them “light blue” and he selected them over the “designer blue jeans” or any of the other “little blue jeans.” So now I’m beyond fascinated to see if I can figure out why he switched to “light” instead of “little” for these. He keeps me on my toes but he gladly put the complete outfit on without any hesitation.

We got ready for church and headed out the door. Every time something falls or isn’t going exactly as he thinks it should he yells “Pay attention.” Nerves of spaghetti I tell ya. A car was not where he wanted it to be and he yelled at me to pay attention. Then he goes into what I’ve been trying to explain to him that not everything can be controlled and sometimes it is a mistake or life happening. I pray this is not one of those things he holds onto for years and he stops yelling “Pay attention.”

He was very happy to be at church and had a great time. His friend walked out to the car with him and he talked about him and his father all the way home. He wants to go places with them and I love how much my little social butterfly is growing. He didn’t want to get something to eat after church. Instead, he wanted to drive by the “blue church” and eat chicken sticks when we got home.

He was mostly calm as the night went on. He would not take his shoes off or change out of his pants until bedtime and that was even pushing it. He would have left them on for bedtime if I had let him. It is amazing how much he loves these shoes. He also asked me to get him some jean shorts for next summer.

The time change had him very thrown off so he was ready for his old bedtime and he wanted me to tell him all about his days ahead. Each day one of us has something going on so it will be a very busy week ahead. He went over how he would talk to everyone tomorrow and that everyone needed kindness and grace. I’m glad he is thinking about it. He fell asleep quickly and I pray we both sleep well tonight. I’m thankful for his incredible growth. Let yesteryear go and keep moving forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“Little blue jeans,” Owen said once again an inch from my nose. I said, “Good morning to you too.” He immediately said, “Good morning sunshine how are you today I’m fine little blue jeans grandma’s house sandals it’s cold sandals.” Today is the day to get organized. Clutter and chaos to calm and crafty I keep telling myself. I need to find more craft projects for us to work on together to keep his mind focused.

He was ready to go to grandma’s house, see our friends tomorrow at church, go to a friend’s house soon, couldn’t wait for Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, spring break, and camp at his therapy place because he was hoping to see his friend again. I know there were about twenty other things I couldn’t keep up with. His mind never stops and when I don’t answer, respond, justify, flinch, or react in the way he wants it gets louder and louder and louder. And his message becomes clearer and clearer because he moves on to the next thing quicker than I can respond or think about the first one.

“Big boy,” he yelled from the other room. This wasn’t the first time we went through it this morning and it wasn’t going to be the last. Waking up at five and waiting until around ten to go to Grandma’s house was a very long time for him. Slow, meandering Saturdays are not to his liking. The interesting thing when he gets places he is generally ready to come home after a few hours unless he’s not. Routine is routine is the routine.

Learning to be in the moment is something I am trying to work on with him. He wants all his days ahead to be today but then he is ready for the next thing to happen while he is still doing the first activity. My heart still jumps for joy when I think that he stayed at our church’s trunk or treat for three hours. That was an amazing accomplishment and a beautiful experience for him. He has taught me so much about myself and trying to live in the moment as well. And cancer taught me not to be afraid of tomorrow.

“The giraffe ABCs is gone took it away ask her,” he kept saying over and over. “Ask grandma,” he continued. It was a toy he had a long time ago at his grandma’s house. He told me he used to sit on it. The memories he has are incredible. The more he can express his feelings and emotions the more he continues to tell me about his past.

All morning he wanted to know when the Christmas lights would be up downtown. He was so excited about it and couldn’t wait to see them. He also wants to go see “Night Santa” and “Fish Santa.” And like on cue he said it while I was typing it. He wants presents. He wants a candy cane and a big box. He wants a “reindeer ears hat.” My heart is so full. I waited years for him to talk about the holidays and even be fine with seeing decorations.

When we got ready for me to take him to his grandma’s house I put his Children’s Therapy Clinic shirt on from their 5K event where he gets to see “night Santa.” He read the shirt and saw the running lights on it. He got so excited. The connections he is now making are amazing. I cry thinking about how I prayed for these days.

He put on his sandals because he asked me and I told him it was cold but if he wanted to wear them he could. As we were getting ready to leave his new shoes came. I brought them in from the porch and he couldn’t wait to take his sandals off and put them on. I think about the years I spent trying to find even one pair of shoes he would wear and now he is requesting shoes. He still has his opinions and won’t wear some but at least he is choosing shoes and finding his style. And that is what matters.

We finally walked out the door and he was relatively calm the whole way to see his grandma. He told me that he knew his best friend would like our church friends. I love his heart. He had a great time with my mom. She said they played games and he kept looking at his shoes in the mirror. He told her all about them. I think he may be trying to dress like his best friend. He wanted my mom to bring him home so he could go by the “blue church” three times.

He was in such a good mood. He wouldn’t take his shoes off but I also couldn’t convince him to go anywhere. I told him earlier in the morning that I loved it when he was happy and laughed. When he came home he was running back from the spot he stood in to watch his grandma leave and he said, “See I’m happy.” Later in the night he told me again he was happy. I love that he is telling me and that he understands how much it means to me.

Yesterday’s news is just that, yesterday’s news. Don’t let it stop you from being exactly who you are supposed to be today. The doctors told me Owen might not talk. I told him every single day I knew he could. Not only does he talk but he can tell me he’s “mad in four languages” as he says. Let the world hear your story and sing it loud and proud. Smiles to all and donut daze!

When Owen woke up I thought it was going to be another live wire day for him at school. The dude was beyond happy that he got to wear “little blue jeans” on his exciting Halloween Friday. He came to me at “five oh one” and quickly said, “Little blue jeans are clean.” He was also trying to figure out which button he wanted to push more; the breaking of things or the improper use of scissors talk, with a side of ripping books and papers. He was very ready to get his Friday party started though.

The morning went quickly. He had a lot of things on his mind and was ready to do every single one of them. The bus was ahead of schedule today so I was glad the bus app was working. We were able to go out early so he could have his time to walk around and talk to me about his day. It wasn’t long and over the shoulder, he asked me if he was going to see all his people and he hurried to get on the bus.

I got ready and headed off to my doctor’s appointment. I went to see my leg doctor and to get my shots. We talked about when I could have my hip replacement done. I have been released from the cancer but I still have to wait at least eight weeks to get my strength back and let some of the chemicals clear my system. I told him I knew his schedule was busy so I wanted to go ahead and get the process started. It will be sometime maybe close to spring.

Puberty, emotions, and hormones are leading to an interesting phase of life. I feel like he is making more connections to his emotions so I’m hoping this will help him through these phases. He got home from school and he was very calm. He wouldn’t take his “little blue jeans” off until I told him he could wear his “little blue jeans” tomorrow. He wanted me to know he wanted to wear those exact jeans. I agreed but then I also talked to him again about what that meant. I want to remind him that we can’t always wear the same thing and I ask him to tell me why. To me, it is important for him to learn about the process so he understands when something isn’t available for him to wear. He was very focused on all the days ahead and when he could wear what.

“Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, spring break, summer break, no more school,” he said to me. The focus was on all the times he would be off. One of the things that is very hard for him is living in the moment. He looks forward to so many things now but then once he is in the moment he is ready to move on to the next thing. It is my goal to help him learn to be in the moment even if we are still looking ahead. He will get it.

“You are being bump loud,” he said. I’m not quite sure why he says this but when he does I know he is about to get very loud. And loud he got. He thinks it is funny. I wish I could remember when he started this or if I ever made a connection to a particular reason he says it but he thinks it is hilarious and likes to do it a lot. Sometimes he will use the term after he has had a meltdown and screamed the whole time. One day I know he will tell me about it.

Bedtime came and behaviors started. I told him that he needed to stop or he wouldn’t be going anywhere tomorrow. There is this extremely fine line that I was walking. If I try to make this a particular teacher moment it can cause it to go extremely sideways and that would be the end of that. The meltdown would start and he would not handle it well. The goal is to explain, keep him calm, and pray that what I just did does not keep him up all night. Here’s to that prayer.

He fell asleep quickly after his prayer thanking God for his grandma. His laughter was brilliant tonight and he asked for lots of tickles. I love it when he is in a happy mood. I am so thankful for his growth and how far he has come. He is ready for his big weekend at Grandma’s house and church. Each day is a gift. Let today be the best day yet. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I think it will be a very good thing to have Owen’s clothes set out for the week. “Big blue jeans,” was my wakeup call an inch from my nose. He immediately went into his real desire. “Little blue jeans,” he continued, “Friday little blue jeans.” Every opportunity he had to talk about ripping books, turning off lights, or what he wanted to wear he took. And he wanted me to know he meant business.

He was all over it once again telling me what he was wearing versus what he wanted to wear. It is amazing how different it is for him between shorts and pants. Shorts for himself he doesn’t think twice about even though he likes some of them better than others but pants he is consumed with for himself and others. He wants to make sure he can wear what he wants but he also wants to make sure everyone else wears what he wants them to wear too. I try to explain to him that he gets to choose what he wants to wear but has to think about the weather, where he is going, and if they are clean. Plus, growing out of something or when they get too worn to wear any longer and I’m sure I’m forgetting something. I also try to get him to understand that other people get to wear what they want to wear. The cycle we have been going through for five years now.

I feel like he grew overnight. He looked so much taller to me standing by my bed when he woke up. It’s hard to believe how fast he is growing now. He stayed almost the same weight for years so it is great to see his growth spurts. These teenage years will go so fast I know so I’m soaking it all in.

He was ready to get to school. It was party day but he did not want to wear his costume to school. I put his costume in his bag in case he changed his mind later. Plus, I thought he might want to wear it for his trick or treating at his therapy as well. The bus app was not working again so we went out extra early in case they were running ahead of schedule. Instead, they were running later so it made it harder on him to wait that long especially since it was raining and I made him stay on the porch for longer. The bus got there and he was off to start his exciting day.

I picked him up from school to go to his therapy. His teacher told me she couldn’t convince him to wear his costume for their party either and he did not want to put it on for trick or treating at his therapy appointment either. He was more concerned about what he would be wearing tomorrow, Saturday, and pretty much for the next ten years or so. I told him I didn’t know. Before I went on he started doing his breathing exercises in the car. He has been doing more of his breathing exercises on his own without me even suggesting them so that is a positive. He is starting to realize when he is getting anxious or upset.

When his speech therapist came to get him he told us that he was going to wear “little blue jeans” tomorrow. I told her that he was saying “light” and “dark” after she worked with him then he went back to little and big. I said I feel like he is saying it for a purpose. She said it might be about the pigment. I thought that was a good connection. He could also be connecting it to the fit. As much as he likes to say the opposite of things it would work. The lighter ones are mostly loose fit and the darker ones are skinny jeans so he could be saying the opposite. I wish he could tell me his thought process because his brain is amazing.

His other therapist said he did well for both of them but he only wanted her to take him trick or treating. He didn’t want to go anywhere because we were “going home to stay home” as he says. We did go by the “blue church” a couple of times and then came home. He told me he wanted to order a pizza on Monday. I said you can have it on other days so maybe we can do something different on Monday and then pizza on his Thursday. Routine is routine. And it makes him happy.

Nighttime came and the day ended as it began. “Little blue pants are clean,” he said to me. I told him they were and that made him happy. I am working on his bins to put his outfits in and I think that will help. I completely understand he likes what he likes but I have to help him understand that change is also part of our everyday life. One step at a time and a daily reflection on how far he has come is what I hold dear to my heart. Let the challenges of today be the encouragement for tomorrow’s success story. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sleep happened until “five oh oh” and I heard him coming to me. “Little blue jeans,” Owen said to me as soon as I uncovered my face. I said, “Good morning to you too.” He said, “Good morning sunshine little blue jeans wear little blue jeans they are clean.” I knew immediately that today I was definitely figuring out how to put his clothes for the week in bins to see if that helps.

He then ran off but it wasn’t long before he asked me about our advisor calling today. I told him she would be calling after he got home from school. This brought him to his next excited burst of energy and off he ran through the house again yelling “New Carrie is going to call.” When our old advisor left we got a new advisor and they happen to have the same name so now we have “old Carrie” and “new Carrie.”

He wanted to make sure that he was riding the bus to and from school. I confirmed it with him but that wasn’t confirmation enough. He peppered this conversation in between “little blue jeans,” “new Carrie,” and when he was going to see his best friend again. He then started talking about going to our friend’s house in November and that he was going to jump off a chair. It is always interesting what he focuses on.

He couldn’t wait to get out to the porch to wait for the bus. But we still had an hour. Plus, it was raining. He was not going to be happy because I was going to have him stay on the porch until the bus got here. I waited as long as possible to get outside. He likes to be down by the sidewalk so he can see the bus turn the corner quicker. He had enough of the porch. He said, “Mommy walk you.” The bus was almost there and it was only a drizzle so I walked down with him. Before he left over his shoulder he went through his days ahead and made sure I confirmed the “new Carrie” was calling. Off he went.

He came home the same way he left. He ran off the bus yelling “New Carrie is going to call new Carrie is going to call.” He was all smiles and then said that his teacher was going to have to call me. I said, “What happened?” He said, “She likes to call you.” He then asked me every few moments when she was going to call. He had me change her ringtone to the blues selection so he would know it was her calling. He has all the phone sounds memorized.

His memory never ceases to amaze me. He went through every tablet I think he has ever used anywhere. The things he stores in his mind are incredible. So many things that he references now are things that he couldn’t tell me when he was younger. For the first few years of his life, he didn’t always look straight at me. He would look at me from the corner of his eye. It was too overwhelming for him. It took him years to speak. The emotions well in my chest. I look at him now and I thank God for how far he has come. I told him every day he could talk he just had to find another place in his brain to form the words. I made sure he knew he was beyond amazing and could do anything he set his mind to.

The rest of the night he was trying to prove that he wanted to get in trouble by talking about ripping books, spitting on people, and telling me everything he was going to lick. Redirecting him is like trying to close those old-fashioned car sunscreens that would pop open at any chance. A friend described him as a hard drive with unlimited storage. I think that is about right. He never forgets a thing he doesn’t want to forget and will remind you of that every chance he gets. He is my amazing. Be the change you want to see in our world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The sleep train happened for Owen and kinda sorta for me. I only woke up once so not as bad as most nights go. I didn’t tell him how his morning was going to go because he was still focused on how his yesterday went. He was calm though except he wanted to know what he was going to wear over and over and over again.

I was beyond happy with how my day was going and as much as he was going to miss riding on the bus with his friends I knew Owen would be thrilled his grandma was picking him up to go to school. I would hear about it later I was sure but he would be very happy in the moment. It’s that change thing. He likes his adventures but it is also hard for him not to focus on the change that it caused. It takes these events to make change not as hard for him though. One step at a time and he has made incredible progress.

His grandma got him to school and she let me know all the things he talked about. I knew I had an inkling of what she was talking about. He was asking about her tablet, his clothes, others’ clothes, and if he was riding the bus home. I headed to my appointment and couldn’t wait to get started and finish. I was so thrilled when they called me back to do my labs.

Thankfully my labs went pretty easily this time and then I was off to see the doctor. He was pleased with my labs and will see me in two months. I have to go for another echo for my heart and more bloodwork but he has released me with no restrictions. This will allow me to get my port removed and schedule my hip replacement after I recover from the infusions. It will be some time after the beginning of the year. I’m leaning towards a nice spring day but I will leave it up to the doctor. I will know more on Friday.

Owen got home and was in a very good mood. He was very excited to talk about what everyone was wearing and what he gets to wear through next week. He was mostly calm though except the idea of what he is going to do over the summer was very much on his mind and quite frankly I am wondering too. I wish our county would go back to a traditional summer school instead of one day a week which would stress out Owen.

I said to Owen “Today was my last infusion and now mommy will start getting better and less tired do you know what that means?” He said, “That means we get to go back to yoga see Shell I miss Shell.” That was a great answer I told him. I said, “Give me a few weeks and we will go.” I loved that he wanted to go back to doing yoga. He has been working on his yoga poses and breathing exercises but he wants to swing in her really cool swings.

He asked repeatedly if he could wear his “little blue jeans” tomorrow. I am going to find some bins so that he can see what he is wearing each day and see how it goes. He said he likes the idea of knowing. I just have to make sure I keep changing things because all he wants to do is wear the “designer blue jeans.” They fit him now but they won’t last forever and when they wear out I need to make sure we aren’t in a pickle. It is easy for him to only want to do one thing and the meltdowns are hard to get him through in the mornings when we need to get ready so quickly to go wait for the bus. I know it will help calm him though if he is aware of his outfits we just have to keep it simple.

I feel beyond blessed that one became none for my infusions. I am tired but feeling thankful that I am cancer-free. God is in the details and I see all those moments over the last year. Owen had a few bumps in his road today but he did great with it. We talked a lot about change and worked through so many other things. I gave him a big kiss on his cheek when he came home and he said, “I love you mommy.” Two of the greatest gifts happened today. Let hope always rest at your door and when you walk through it you will feel the Son shine. Smiles to all and donut daze!