The good news the bus app was working until it wasn’t. Kinda like the day. We were in a mood today. I think both of us were and we both can’t have a bad day on the same day. The spiral effect of me trying to correct behaviors is always interesting. Last night he was screaming at me so I told him I was not going to bring his tablet with me when I picked him up from school for therapy if he kept screaming. He kept screaming. It then became our morning scream session to continue last night’s moments.

I needed to change the momentum of our day so I tried to have a dance off with him and about halfway through the song he was done with that. He turned off the music and went back to making his transportation requests for his birthday. He wanted me to put them on his calendar but I told him that we had to talk to our friends first to see if they could make all his dreams come true. It was the start of our very interesting day.

He was on the bus and was happy once he got on it. When we went out to wait for the bus he got water on his jeans probably from the porch railing. He was very upset. When I saw it I wasn’t sure what it was at first but as soon as I noticed he did. He has such a hard time with water spots but I didn’t even know what it was at first. We had a few minutes to get back inside, or so I hoped since the bus app stopped working. We were able to get him changed and back out. I started singing Wheels On The Bus and that helped. A couple of minutes later the bus took him off to school.

He recovers from the meltdowns quicker than I do. I have to give myself kindness and grace in these moments. There was no way I could have stopped him from being upset about the water. We just have to work through it. It’s been a while since he has gotten this upset so I will go back to putting water spots on both of us in controlled moments to help him work through his reactions. I always feel like I have to learn how to be ahead of the curveball but he also has to learn how to regulate his emotions.

“Drink chocolate milk Dr DiVita said,” he told me. I asked him if that is what she said and he immediately said, “Drink water.” I asked him if he knew why he was supposed to drink water. Before the answer was given he started talking to me about all his other doctors and therapists would tell him to drink chocolate milk. The little smile washed across as he said, “Helps your belly.” I told him that it did but his doctor wanted to make sure he got plenty of fluids when he had been sick. This is a new recurring conversation that we have been having lately.

His mood had changed greatly since being at school. He couldn’t wait to get to therapy to see everyone. His greatest concern on the way there was whether he was still going to be a boy on the 18th of March because being 14 on the 14th had gotten him a bit perplexed. He was excited about it though and wanted to know when he would be 18. I told him he would be 18 in 2030 and with that, he asked when he would be an adult boy. By then we were at his therapy and he was ready to “sit on the steps” and wait for his first therapist.

We got out of the car so he could sit on the steps. He could hardly stand it, he was so excited until his therapist walked out to see him. He was jumping up and down and then he got distracted by a lady who was dropping her daughter off but got in her truck to pull away. He was so happy about her turning the engine on and pulling away he was momentarily distracted by her but once he waved goodbye to her he was back focused on his therapist. He loves watching people park their cars and drive away.

Success. His physical therapist said he was able to regulate his emotions today and was very happy. She said he did great with all three of them. His occupational therapist was impressed with how far his cutting skills are coming along. When he came out the door with his therapist he said, “You are amazing.” I said, “Yes you are.” I was so happy he had a good day especially after how it began.

He wanted Chick-fil-A for dinner so we stopped on our way home. After we got our food he said, “Snow better it’s better snow gotta go bye bye.” He is completely over the interruptions it caused. And the big let down for the night is me telling him that he can’t have the ABCs giraffe learn and ride bike he had at his grandma’s house when he was a toddler. The amount of information stored in his brain is incredible. He found the toy on the internet and wanted me to order him one since I told him that we mo longer had it. I told him that he was too big for it. This did not make him happy.

Bedtime came and I was thankful that today was a much better day for him after it got going. I know that it will help if we can keep his routine going. I told him that I was proud of him. I always sing to him “You are amazing this I know you are amazing I love to watch you grow” and I let him know we are in this together. I’m thankful for his growth. Let today be your day to shine. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Some mornings I start my deep breathing exercises before I even get out of bed. It was not a calm morning for Owen and he was doing a lot of planning for our future. He got very upset about not knowing what his days ahead would be like. He was concerned that we were not going to meet his grandma at Kroger on Saturday but then he also wanted her to take him to all the places he wanted to go. We haven’t met her at Kroger in quite some time because he has wanted to be dropped off or picked up at our house.

The snow was the next big issue and what was going to happen with that. I would like to say the morning got calmer but he was having a hard time with everything. He was happy when it was time to get ready to go to breakfast. He knew he had today off from school and was happy about our plans of meeting our friends for breakfast but he had so much on his mind. I think he was overwhelmed with all the routine changes he has been going through.

“Very bump loud,” he said to me. I always wonder why he says it like that. When he started learning to communicate and express himself certain phrases and words took on new meanings. Sometimes I think it is because of the way he heard it or maybe how he is connecting it to something else. The options are endless but with a very rough start to our day his “very bump loud” was extremely loud.

I sit waiting for the screams. Days like this are the ones that keep me rooted in the trenches. If he thinks I’m getting up from my seated position he yells for me to sit again. The rock and roll world of emotions slams into me and all the music plays like an unorchestrated song crashing over me. He needs calm in the chaos and even something as simple as me going to the bathroom causes him to struggle. My heart aches for the moments when life is so hard for him to process. It’s emotional for both of us.

He was singing Jingle Bells all morning. He told me he wanted to wear one of his Children’s Therapy Clinic Christmas shirts to breakfast. He told me it was a celebration with his friends. Who can argue with that? I can see that he is processing people’s choices of clothing more and more, and even his own.

The rollercoaster continued in the car but he was calm once we got to breakfast though. He was so excited to see everyone. He asked for blueberry pancakes and chocolate milk. When our food came I asked if he wanted to pray and he said yes. He said, “Dear God, thank you for keeping us moving forward, Amen.” His words were something I include almost every night in my prayers with him. Tears filled my eyes as he said it. When he makes all the connections to his story he will have an incredible message to share.

He took his jeans off earlier when we came home from breakfast. Right before dinner he put them back on. He had them inside out so we went through how to turn them back correctly. After dinner he came to get his phone and now we work through how to put it in his back pocket. What growth. I am thankful for God’s grace that I get to see my boy growing up. Cancer taught me to cherish the little things. These days are challenging but the reward is in these victories.

We had a wonderful time with our friends and he is already planning our next breakfast for March. He let them all know he had plenty of places he wanted them to take him. He is always wanting more adventures now and I’m loving it. When we were coming home he went through everywhere he wanted to go again and what he wanted to do. He then told me that he wanted “grandma pick me up go get donut sugar for school.” He wants to take donuts to his friends again.

He was mostly calm as the night went on except for a few moments where ruffling feathers is more fun with a side of screaming. He was definitely ready for tomorrow so he can get on the bus, go to school, and then have me pick him up for therapy, and then to have that followed up with bus, school, bus on Friday so he can get back into his routine of Saturday, Sunday, and on to his Monday once again. His prayer at breakfast will be one of my treasured memories. I’m so thankful for his growth and the connections he is making. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

To say we were excited about our future was probably the understatement of the century or at least the day. He could not wait until tomorrow to go to breakfast with the ladies from our church and then school for the rest of the week, along with therapy, grandma’s house on Saturday, and church on Sunday. He has been plotting and planning each one of his days. I was just wishing the bus app would work.

He knew tomorrow was a “teacher day” so he wasn’t as upset as the random days he had off because of the snow. He couldn’t wait to go to breakfast at the “cracker burial that lives in Cross Lanes.” He has been calling it that for some time and no matter how many times I tell him it’s still “cracker burial.” He is already planning our next breakfast with everyone at Bob Evans next month when he is on spring break. I know it helps him process his breaks and I love that he has become quite the little social planner.

“I ordered a waffle,” he said as I was still sitting. Every morning when we get up I fix him “first breakfast” as I call it, dry cereal and chocolate milk. From there he tells me what he would like or I will ask him later depending on the day. It wasn’t long after I sat down with my coffee and asked me for a waffle. I don’t exactly move fast but I was getting up to come make it. I thought his response was hilarious. He is getting ready to order his food tomorrow.

The bus app once again wasn’t working so I always want to get out there early enough so we don’t miss it. He loves going out and waiting so at least he was happy. The bus came and he was off to his happy place. I was not feeling great so I was able to rest this morning. I try to remind myself that even though I am done with my cancer treatments I am still recovering from everything that I went through. I was thankful today was a day I could rest.

He came home with some stories and he was happy. He had mixed emotions about tomorrow but he is so glad he has plans. It is always harder when he knows his teacher will be at school or doing things for school without him but he told me “I’m so excited for breakfast at Cracker Burial.” He had a Band-Aid on his finger and he told me everyone was happy. I asked him if they were happy and he said, “No everybody sad.”

He went through all the restaurants his grandma would take him to, where they live, and what foods they would get there. He included her order as well. I love how he tells me where the restaurants live. That makes total sense to me. He got his tablet and he started singing Jingle Bells. It was a Christmas packed, song singing night.

I think he is starting to process that people are allowed to wear what they want to wear. I don’t think he is thrilled with it yet but we have to start somewhere. He told me “Grandma too cold no yellow shirt brown shirt red sparkler have to throw it away no more yellow shirt.” I told him she will probably have to throw it away just like his “little blue jeans.” He said, “Probably.” This was the big discussion for the rest of the night.

I am thankful we have plans for his day off tomorrow. I know this will make him very happy. He was excited for bed because that meant breakfast was just around the corner. I’m thankful he had a good day. He told me that he loved to laugh because “mommy likes my laugh.” I told him I love his laugh and he did his fake laugh for me which I love as much as his real laugh because he does the fake one just for me. The little things are the best things. Cherish those moments. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen slept late and I was trying to be as quiet as a mouse. He was in a great mood and went through every scenario of when his grandma was going to take him to all the “drive forms” and get his requested food. He was super excited about his day, starting with the trash truck taking away his “little blue jeans.” All I can say is wow. It was one of the first things he asked me when he woke up and I told him they were still in the trash bag. He said, “I’m excited.”

The bus app was not working so it was hurry up and wait. We got dressed and he wanted to make sure we took the trash out with his “little blue jeans.” I told him to grab the bag and once we got our jackets and his backpack we would head out to the porch so he could put it at the curb. He eagerly awaited my next move. This is still beyond fascinating to me that he wanted these jeans gone. I hope that one day he can explain it to me more.

As we walked out the door his jacket kept “getting caught” on everything and it was “bleeding.” This time I decided I would once again bring up the question of whether he knew what bleeding was and if we could use the term “breaking” or “ripping.” This was a no-go for him. He said, “The jacket is bleeding poor jacket gotta get a new one.” I then asked him if he wanted a new one and the glorious answer was “no” said with great emphasis.

His “little blue jeans” were at the curb and he was quite pleased. The bus came and off they went to see his people. I was off to physical therapy and it was the start of our very busy day. My physical therapy went well. I was exhausted afterwards. My mind, body, and soul are constantly going, trying to keep up with one thing or another. I am truly trying to keep up with my exercises so I can start feeling better and stronger. Mostly we will be concentrating on my hip and knee but they are going to continue to give me input on my shoulder and arm from the stiffness I have after the breast cancer surgery.

I picked him up from school and I took him to music therapy. His teacher said he had a good day, but he was full of interesting stories and questions. The whole way there he constantly asked if he was going to go to his grandma‘s house. I told him that as far as I knew he was still going. I just needed to confirm with his grandma for the time. He was very excited and kept asking me exactly when he would be going to his grandma‘s house. Thankfully, he had a great session and then we were off to his grandma‘s house.

When I was bringing him to her house, he kept saying “grandma‘s house grandma‘s house” so I told him to only say it once and to let me respond so instead he started repeating that he was going to “grandpa‘s house.” He found the loophole. It took us a while to get there because we got behind a school bus and it kept dropping off kids. He wasn’t particularly pleased with us because he wanted to get to his grandma‘s house.

He had a great time with his grandma and I know he enjoyed being there. It had been a while since he saw her because of the weather. I picked him up and we headed to his vision therapy. In the car, he kept talking about when he was sick. His doctor had told him to drink lots of water. He only wanted to still drink chocolate milk. Now he always asks if she told him to drink chocolate milk, even though he knows the answer he wants me to say that she told him to drink water. I then will ask him if he drank any water as she told him to and he replies, “Not one glass.”

He had us cracking up at his vision therapy. He never realizes how funny he is. He did several of his exercises after great prompts and then he proudly proclaimed that he was done for the day. We were off to get our requested pizza and then headed home. He thoroughly enjoyed his black olive, mushroom, pepperoni, and meatball pizza.

“Hey knock knock,” he said right before bedtime and I thought maybe he was going to tell me a knock-knock joke. We’ve talked about knock-knock jokes, and I feel like one day he will understand the humor in them. Bedtime came quickly and he was excited about going to school on Tuesday. His prayer for the night was “Dear God thank you for going to school Amen.” He sang a lot for me tonight and that always makes my day. Let your heart be filled with the music of your soul and let that be shared with others. Smiles to all and donut daze!

And so another day began. Owen slept late and immediately asked if his “little blue jeans” were still going to the trash truck tomorrow. I asked him if that was what he wanted and he said, “Yes.” He then moved on to church, the weather, and what months he was going to get to eat breakfast with people. Annoyed is how he sounded today and I don’t blame him at all. I think his boat was sailing through the snow and that wasn’t where he wanted it to be.

He was focused on his robot BeatBos and watching his tablet so calm was happening. He was asking me every few seconds “How much time on my timer” because he was extremely ready to go to church but I told him that he had to wait to find out since I wouldn’t be able to tell him until I tried to get to the car. After that, he was much calmer even though he still wanted the answer.

We made it to church. Before we left I went through all the steps with him that we had to follow. I had him repeat it back to me twice. I wanted to make sure he understood that if I couldn’t make it to the car we couldn’t go. I knew he would be disappointed if we couldn’t go but I was hoping that by including him in each step he would know why we didn’t go.

I told him that we were going to go out together but he had to stay on the porch until I got to the car. If I couldn’t get to the car then we had to stay home. He listened great. He waited the whole time while I was walking. I kept telling him what I was doing and he was fine. Once I got there he came out and he got in the car. He was patient when I had to get some of the ice off and then we left. He didn’t get upset in the car the whole way there. I think he was just very happy to be going.

He wanted to go to Arby’s on the way home. He once again did great with listening to me when we got home. There was still a lot of snow and ice so I had to take it extremely slow walking back into the house. He was very patient and once again listened well. We at our lunch and he started talking about everything we would do this week.

The list of all the places he wanted to go, who was going to take him, and what he was going to get was quite long. The details he goes through are incredible to me. He knows what they will be driving, what they wore the last time he was with them, what he will order and has ordered before, and probably my favorite part what he will say to them and what they will say back when they are dropping him off. He told me exactly what our friend said to him and it has been months since we’ve seen them. Truly it is remarkable to me.

If all goes according to plan tomorrow we are going to see his grandma after his music therapy. I truly hope there are no school closures or delays tomorrow because I am supposed to start my physical therapy for my hip. I have rescheduled already a couple of times because of all the ice. I’m so thankful we got to go to church today. It was great to see our people. It was a wonderful day to be in the house of the Lord. I pray for sleep tonight and a great day for Owen tomorrow. Find comfort in knowing you are not alone. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Rinse, repeat, and it snowed again. I feel like I am in some kind of movie that I can’t quite get the scene right so I have to do it all over again. Owen woke in a much better mood and I thought our morning was going smoothly with the new tablet in his hands but that was quickly dashed by crumbs on his “little blue jeans” that were not on him, nor in front of him, nor dirty. The screams and crying started quickly but thankfully were calmer when I took them away, gave them back, and then he hid them once again.

Once he went to bed last night I got his new tablet working. He was loving it. I got him a red case which made him even happier because he was calling it the “Spider-Man tablet” once again. He wanted to know about all his days ahead. The biting and licking are behaviors I know that he is using to get a lot of those emotions out and I prayed that I could keep him calm and busy today. I was thankful that he was in a good mood though.

“Have a good one,” he said as he walked into the room. He was in the kitchen watching his car videos again making the car racing sound. “Mommy kiss,” he continued standing about six feet away from me. He wanted me to blow him a kiss. He did the same thing. “Have a good one,” he said again with his wave, “bye for now.” He waited for me to say “I love you” with my wave and within minutes he repeated it again. This went on several more times.

He was extremely chatty. And I was not awake enough even though I had been up since four. We did our little dance off again and it was met with mixed reviews but he at least did it with me and even did a little spin. I love his giggle when he does it.

I have been giving him little cartons of milk that have extra vitamins. His finger was “bleeding” because he put his thumb in the drink hole and it of course was the perfect size to get “stuck.” It easily came off but he wanted to keep it in there so he could say it was bleeding. It is hard to stay one step in front of all the things that are “bleeding.” I am truly not sure why he decided everything can bleed but it is one of those phases I pray moves on.

In a million years I never guessed how today would have gone and it wasn’t even eleven o’clock in the morning. The “little blue jeans” that we both have cried over more times than I can count have happily been thrown in the trash and we are eagerly awaiting the “trash truck to took them away.” It was one happy Owen thinking about that. He was giddily running through the house with his excited little laughter talking about how they will be gone. Now if I sound surprised it might be the understatement of the century.

He put them on earlier in the morning after the crumb issue and they came out of hiding. He told me again all about the crumbs that were not on them. He started to get upset again and I said that if he screamed at me about them he was going to have to take them off. I told him there were no crumbs on them. He told me “Throw them away.” I told him if he wanted them gone he had to throw them away and once he put them in the trash he couldn’t take them out. It has been quite the opposite. He was so happy to put them in the trash.

He then started asking to wear “big blue jeans,” black jeans, and khaki pants. He wants to put them all back in the bins. I had told him a while ago that his best friend might be wearing black jeans or khaki pants for Halloween. I guess he thinks he needs to prepare for these options. And the excitement continued. The story didn’t end there. It carried on for the whole day with him repeatedly sharing his excitement for Monday to come so the “trash truck to took them away.”

He was ready to wear “big blue jeans” next Saturday. This is so wild. My brain was easily sidetracked by all the pants choices he now wants to have. He also wants to wear his Children’s Therapy Clinic Christmas shirt all year long. It’s exciting that we are moving forward through these choices. I am praying this opens up more options for what others wear and that it won’t upset him.

Staying calm went pretty well today. We danced, we laughed, and we talked endlessly about the trash truck taking away the little blue jeans. He enjoyed playing on his new tablet. We have talked a lot about our days ahead. The little blue jeans were still in the trash at the end of the day and he told me he was happy about it. Progress was made.

The story of my emotions was heavy today. He talks a lot. I love hearing his words but he doesn’t realize that sometimes he has to give me a minute to breathe, eat, take my medicine, or think. His screaming or questions intensify in these moments. Some days it is more than others and today was one of those days. My mind never rests and as I was about to cry he said one more thing.

He was talking about the days ahead and he said, “The eleventh.” He has numerous appointments on the 11th so I didn’t think much about it at first. He then said, “Mommy’s birthday is May 11th.” Through God’s grace, he speaks. He talks a lot and questions everything because he is still learning the art of communication. My tears were stopped in their tracks because in that moment he was doing everything he could to connect with me. The days can be hard but the love is incredible.

I hope some of the ice and snow clear up so we can go to church tomorrow but there is a possibility of snow overnight. We need our routine back. His laughter filled the air and gave me exactly what my heart needed. Your story just gets bigger, brighter, and bolder every day. The challenges you face are setting you up for the victories. Don’t let yesteryear stop you from having the tomorrow of your dreams. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I had to figure out even what day it was. This feels like the millionth day of winter. And more snow. About 8:30 last night we got the call that they wouldn’t even attempt to send the kids to school. My heart sank a little and I knew how hard it would be for Owen. I knew it was the right call but there was not one part of it that I liked. This has been a hard winter for my routine-loving son. And his momma.

All the days truly are blending together. It was a snow day that hadn’t even happened yet so how do I explain that to him? Our plate overfloweth with the snow and everything else. He was not happy, is not happy, and will not be happy until the purple cows come home. There were a lot of emotions and I was feeling every single one of them. I know that he understands about snow but he doesn’t understand the impact it is making on our area. We’ve had snow and ice before but nothing like this for us before.

He was practicing his speeches. “Have a good one,” he said as he exited my room with a wave. The smile was as cute as the rest of his little journey to the next room. He stood at the kitchen table for a minute and came right back to me and did it again, sometimes he asked for a kiss on the top of his head. He added “I love you” numerous times. When he goes to bed I say “I love YOU” emphasizing the you a little louder and longer because he says I love you from his room. He was doing the exact same thing.

For the most part, as the day went on he was calm but not impressed with his circumstances. Who is at this point? We are all over the snow. His racetrack motor sounds were in full swing. He mimics the sound of the cars going around the track that he watches on his tablet.

He told me numerous times this morning about the farm, home, room, and what animals we can have when we finally move. He watched a video that asked if an animal should be in a zoo or a farm. He went through a whole list of them. He is so excited about getting a new room. He wants a new big bed with lots of blankets. He can’t wait to go pick out Frisbee from a big puppy pile. I asked him if he wanted a big dog or a little dog and he said a little dog.

You can’t make this stuff up. Our internet went out. Surprisingly his white tablet connected to my phone even though it was slow which of course does not make him happy. His grandma got him a new tablet for his birthday but she gave it to him early. Yesterday seems like the day I should have figured out the Internet for his tablet but I haven’t set it up yet. On a separate note, if you are wondering how much we pray he immediately started saying “Dear God, I pray the internet comes back on soon.” And it did.

The day was mixed with disbelief that once again here we were and laughter with a side of anxiousness, attitude, and readiness to get this show on the road. Our dance off in the morning once again adjusted our attitude so which helped us move forward in our day. The snow will prevent us from going anywhere tomorrow but hopefully it will be better by Sunday. He has now started turning off his light right before he goes to bed. It is amazing how far he has come. I’m holding onto the laughter. Each day is an option for a new beginning. Positive words and positive actions equal a positive life. Smiles to all and donut daze!

A mood was had but thankfully adjustments were made. Screaming and hitting were how we started our morning because hitting has now become Owen’s thing and screaming because he can see the change in me.

We talked about it and the fact that he was going to school and therapy. I decided that we needed a dance off and that changed our attitudes. He had a lot of fun. I do it every few mornings but I should definitely do it more. He was ready for his day and he wanted me to know it. The screams were part of that plan.

When routine does not meet expectations it can be extremely hard on him. These are the moments that are extremely hard for me to process with him. He knows what he wants and he wants it. Who can blame him? Truly this weather has been so hard on everyone and he is trying to figure out how to regulate himself.

The two-hour delay was not on the top of his list this morning but at least he was happy he was going to school. He asked me every few minutes “How much time on my timer,” showing me his invisible watch to let me know he was counting the seconds. The actual time amount is not as important as just answering him. He needs an answer to move forward. He is doing better now that he can read time a little bit better but it is still hard for him when his routine is constantly changing.

I was thankful he wanted to dance with me. Quite frankly we both dance with the same little stance but to see him dance and clap his hands is the most beautifully intricate dance that I have ever seen. It’s him dancing and I know how hard he has worked to move the way he does. He even does a turn, maybe it’s more like a spin, and giggles when he does it. We clapped above our heads and that was something he couldn’t do before, then he grabbed my hands to move around. We will definitely be doing more dancing. Maybe I’ll get better too but it is definitely good exercise for both of us.

The bus came and took a very excited boy to school. It seemed like it wasn’t long and I was off to get him for his therapy. His teacher said he had a good day. He was biting his finger a lot but he was happy. He has been in sensory overload since his routine has been interrupted by the weather. Add in all the sinus issues and I know it has all been hard.

The happiness continued all the way to therapy. He wanted to make sure our Internet was working and that he was getting to see all three of his therapists “with beautiful hair.” I told him yes and he said, “That a good day.” He was very excited when his first therapist came out to get him. They headed inside but he watched me the entire time to make sure I got back in my car.

They said he did well but was definitely in sensory overload. He had asked me many times on the way there if he was going to get to see all of them and I know he was very anxious about missing them again because of the weather. He struggled a little with one of his therapist’s haircuts but she said he was still able to do the exercises.

We picked up his requested Hardee’s on the way home. I took a couple of his fries and he was quite surprised. He talks all the time about wanting to touch others’ food. I know this is a big deal for them at school so it isn’t something I should probably push at this point but I didn’t even think about it I just grabbed a few when I was putting it all out for him. “Have a good one,” he said and after a long pause he continued, “see you later.” I think he wanted to eat without me taking anything else.

The rest of the night was up and down with emotions. He wants to make sure his days ahead are filled with exactly what he wants but unfortunately, we are supposed to get more snow. I’m praying that it comes later than predicted so that he gets to have a full day of school and he can go see his grandma. I hung onto the memories of our amazing little dance this morning and that is what got me through our day. Let the reflection of your happiest moments be what makes your challenges fade away. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The bad news came with the reception I thought it would. It was a little after five and I could hear Owen in his room starting our day. “Slept upper night,” he said with his usual flair. I said, “Good morning to you too.” He went through a lot of questions until he got out of bed. This is when he started talking about his day. And I shattered his dreams.

After the first initial shock, I think he has come to the conclusion that winter is not going to end anytime soon and he is not happy about it. I share his sentiment. He started repeating everything over and over about not being able to go to school because of the snow. My heart was sad. These days have been hard and the calmer I am the calmer he will be. Or so I thought. Some days are rough.

Owen informed me that he no longer wanted to drive by Mary C. Snow Elementary. I’m thinking he may feel there is a connection. He loves driving by places and this is one of his favorites but I’m thinking he wants a break from the snow. When he was younger it was on his bus route so the school and railroad tracks near it are always on his travel requests. And I’m sure it will be once again.

He was struggling with not seeing his people and places again. He was worried that we were not going to be able to go anywhere for another week. I prayed that it would not happen. The screams echo through my heart when he yells at me because he wants to go to school and therapy. When he is yelling he says “therapy” like each syllable is its own word.

We discussed what farm animals we can and cannot have when we move. We could have squirrels but no lions. I was very thankful for this. Then we ruled out tigers as well. Pigeons however are coming to live with us. Maybe I could get him a homing pigeon to go with his purple cows.

I sat trying not to cry but the tears fell down my face. The screaming is so emotional. I know this is all hard on him. The things that he wants to yell at me about are the things that always surprise me even though they shouldn’t. If he doesn’t get the response he wants then he yells to get the response he wants. Staying one step ahead of his emotions can be exhausting. He came and hugged me. And it made me cry even harder.

It has been a long winter. He asked me if it was going to snow in March, April, May, and June. I told him I prayed it wouldn’t. We got the message that tomorrow would be a two-hour delay. I was so very thankful it wasn’t closed and he will have his therapy tomorrow. I haven’t told him about the delay but we are becoming experts at it. Hopefully, the bus app is working but otherwise, we will be out there waiting so he doesn’t miss the bus.

Bedtime was met with lots of emotions and questions. It was a day full of what-ifs and can’t-waits. I pray the next couple of days can be routine for him before we get more snow. I prayed for strength and understanding for both of us. I reminded him that we are a team and together we can accomplish anything. One day at a time and through God. Let today be a day of happiness and it will change your world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Ready set get ready. Jerbduehsvsjehehebeb was about as much sense as what my brain was making today. Owen was having a rough morning. I was having a rougher morning. And together we were both upset. I was trying to get us ready because I thought the bus would be here early since there was still so much ice in areas I knew they probably would not be able to pick up all the kids again. However, the bus app was not working so I knew we had to get outside early. He was ready to go but had many concerns about his day.

He had slept all night and was once again yelling from his bed about everything that was going to happen over the next few weeks. It was technically the next year but it was things that repeated all year long. He finally got up and started asking me about Grandma’s house tomorrow. This was the recurring theme for the rest of the morning.

“Go Grandma’s house,” he said as we were waiting for the bus. At this point, he had been yelling it off and on for an hour. If you say yes he asks again, if you say no he asks again, and if you try to redirect him it only delays the question. I learned early on that trying to derail his brain wears me out way before he ever stops. I sang every song I could think of to distract him and every time I finished he asked me again. My heart aches that it is so hard for him. We can go to Grandma’s house tomorrow depending on the ice and snow but I won’t know until tomorrow. We were getting more sleet, ice, and snow as the day wore on. The bus arrived and he was finally off to his happy routine.

And just like that he was home from school. He was calmer than he was this morning for the most part. He discussed the fact that he was not going on any field trips ever and that he couldn’t wait to see his teacher tomorrow so he could tell her he missed her.

He went through everyone he wanted to drop him off at school and pick him up. He wants to “meet grandma at Kroger very soon” and then have her take him by the “blue church and brown church.” He is now going on the church tour. I had not heard about the “brown church” so I asked him to show it to me and he pulled it up on Google Earth. It was a church near us that we pass depending on which way we go. It amazes me how many places he loves to look at.

I tried to laugh at everything he laughed at and not detour from what he was saying. Today was not the day for that. He was calmer and I did not want to have a repeat of the morning. I feel better than I did this morning but still not feeling great. The happier I could keep him I knew the calmer the night would go. Thankfully it did.

And just like that tomorrow is a remote learning day. Mum's the word until tomorrow. Is it spring yet? There was no way I was telling him that he didn’t have school before he went to bed. I know how hard it is going to be for him tomorrow. He thought he was going to school and then to his grandma’s house so I know this will be hard. This winter business seriously is for the penguins.

Bedtime came quickly and he was asleep it seemed almost as quickly as his head hit the pillow. I’m praying we both sleep all night. It will be a full day tomorrow working through all of this weather. I was thankful for his laughter tonight. It truly was music to my soul. Making memories with him is the best part of my day. Let the happy moments always outweigh the heaviness of your day. Smiles to all and donut daze!