The days seem to all blend together. I was thankful Owen slept through the night and woke up in order. Sometimes I feel like we are all out of order and if we don’t do our steps in the right order we have to start all over again. Routine, rules, order, or routine order, rules, or order rules routine, and the list and direction all make a difference or so it feels. But today felt like the right order for our morning and it went pretty smoothly. We both woke a little early and we both wanted the coffeepot to crank out that magical juice a little quicker but otherwise we were both happy. He sat in bed with me laughing at his tablet and talking to me about his days ahead. When it was time to get ready the word “mostly” sticks in my mind. He mostly listened and mostly got dressed on his own. When we went outside to wait for the bus I was anxious. It was raining. Thankfully we have been working on the rain and standing on the porch out of the elements. Both of these things are hard for us. Harder than harder. Hard, hard. Like really hard but huge progress is being made. I started worrying if I should get our umbrella but then I thought it won’t help the process we just have to get through the rain on our clothes and maybe that will help us move forward on different things. He was distracted by asking Siri lots of questions about how to say words in all the languages. “Buffalo buffalo buffalo in French,” he said, laughing as she pronounced each word. Not much longer and his bus came around the corner, and his smile washed across his face. He came home with his attitude in full force. Sometimes if he has a really good day at school, he comes home and everything just goes into motion for him and today was one of those days. We did our breathing exercises and he started to calm down. He wanted to take BeatBo to the North Pole to see another robot. Then he told me he needed to build another robot so he needed a screwdriver. As the night went on he got much calmer. He has been screaming more lately and tonight was no different but I think he is going through a phase of backtracking. He is circling through his old responses and apps, playing games, he hasn’t played in over a year. He is constantly pushing the airplane button on his tablet which disables the Wi-Fi and then he screams that the Wi-Fi is not available. He also deletes apps and then wants them immediately back on like YouTube. He doesn’t understand that when he turns off something or deletes an app that it can change the properties, and we have to reinstall or add them back in depending on the app. He cried when he could not get back to the Internet. He deleted YouTube added it back in and then he kept pushing the airplane, so it was turning off the Wi-Fi, and not letting him go to the things that he wanted to go to. I finally added the app back on and fixed all the settings, and he was fine. I’ve been trying to get him to take his shirt off differently for years. The one he had on he couldn’t get off his way. He said help and I pulled his shirt down. I told him to try it the way I always tell him to do it and it came off without a problem. Maybe he will start trying it my way. He had a lot for dinner tonight when he hadn’t been eating as well in a while and so I was glad to see that. After his bath, he struggled to go to sleep tonight. His toenail was bothering him, and then he wanted to lay on the floor and just everything was something so he finally fell asleep, but it wasn’t until later than he normally does. The last few days have been really hard. I’ve missed my brother and I’ve struggled with not being able to talk to him. I wanted him to share in our victories over the last few days and talk to him about my challenges of the things that I’ve been going through. Grief doesn’t fade away in an instant. It took you years, months, days to get to know that person, and here they are gone in an instant so grief doesn’t end when that ends there’s a lifetime of memories that hold you rooted in the ground and no magic amount of time will take your pain away. I remind myself that he would tell me to just keep putting one foot in front of the other so I’m putting one foot in front of the other with some tears in my eyes but I’m moving forward. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. We always need to remind ourselves that today is a moment in time. Keep looking, keep reaching, keep striving for a better moment, a better day. And be kind to yourself when some days feel hard to keep moving forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The screaming. The constant voicing of his emotions through the high-pitched tones echoes through my mind. Owen gets super excited about something he is doing and this guttural scream comes out. It roars through my head. He’s happy as a lark about whatever he is doing but he won’t use his words. The sounds he made tonight are part of the joy he is expressing for the victory the little panda is experiencing on his screen. My reminder to use his words is met with more screams and an “I love you” over his shoulder as he laughs at the panda again. I have to focus. The older he gets the louder the noises are. The jumping makes the whole house shake. Having a house with a basement does not help the echoes and there are places in our house where he loves jumping and screaming more. Maybe it’s louder echoes or the way the walls vibrate that keeps him jumping in those places. He went to sleep relatively quickly last night with the new CG plan in place. I figured Curious George needed a fancy name or for me to use his initials or something. Whatever he is called he is helping. Owen did wake up about halfway through the night but went back to sleep quickly once he got into bed with me. When morning came he didn’t want me to get up to go to the bathroom. I tried to explain my body doesn’t give me a choice. Plus, I needed my coffee. We had a good morning and it went by quickly and in no time he was off to school with a fast lesson of words in Arabic. French and Arabic seem to be the go-to languages right now. I’m not sure why he decided this but French was a big deal for him today. It seems like he will be reading to me in other languages soon. I’m pretty sure he can do it now but he is not completely confident in his reading ability but the more books we read in English I’m sure it will increase for the other languages as well. I’m starting to see more connections and an understanding of bodily functions. This feels huge and I’m so glad. It’s all the stuff I know happens but I don’t want to think about it. It took years to get through potty training and sometimes it’s still a rocky road so for him to be making more connections is glorious. His teeth coming in have probably moved up to the top choice of what he is concerned about. I know he feels every movement and he tells me every time. I am trying to convince him not to bite his tablet. I keep telling him if he stops biting it that will help them to not fall out. I’m never sure what to attempt to explain and what’s going to make it more complicated. I think his teeth and my explaining anything make it more complicated. I’m thankful his dentist is amazing with him and as importantly with me. Bedtime was surprisingly fast. Once I said to him that he would not get his tablet tomorrow if he did not get ready for bed, he immediately turned off the lights, got ready for bed, and was asleep in no time. I’m thankful for his growth and how far he has come. Every day we have a choice to push forward. The hardest part is the hardest part. Some days the challenges feel overwhelming, but we must push through and find our happiness. Share your story, share mine, and understand that we will get through this together. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sleep is a glorious thing but I never know when sleep is going to disappear again. I feel as though we are on an upward trend. Owen slept all night and woke up in a good mood. He had a little bit of an attitude, but who doesn’t at 5 o’clock in the morning? For some reason, he had babies on his mind, all the babies. Babies that cry, baby animals, and those who had babies were all topics. But then when I asked him who he knew that had a baby he only laughed and wouldn’t answer. We know several babies so I’m not sure if this was what got him thinking about it or if there was something else. It’s interesting how different Saturdays and Sundays are versus all the other days of the week. Owen will come and get in bed with me Monday through Friday before school and we spend time together laughing and playing on his tablet. On the weekends he gets up and it’s a little more relaxed time but food is the topic that usually comes first. During the week he gets breakfast at school unless he asks for something before he leaves. Food is a whole other subject. It’s amazing how many different foods he eats, but he also has rules and routines that are subjected to his food choices. There are certain foods that he only wants to eat at certain locations and this is always interesting. He also eats foods depending on the person he’s with, but he still eats a wide variety of foods for being a kid and having a lot of sensory issues with food. Smells, textures, and temperatures can all be big things for him. And it doesn’t only have to be his food it can be food that I’m eating. He was in a good mood when he came home from school and he knew he was going to his vision therapy today. He was eating his snack before we left and he said, “I’m going to eat grass I don’t eat grass who eats grass.” These are the conversations we have. He went to the bathroom before we went to therapy but he wouldn’t come out of the bathroom. He wasn’t going to the bathroom he was just standing there. I asked him if he had to go but he just stood so I finally convinced him to come out of the bathroom and he laughed. I called the office because I wanted them to know we would be there right at our appointment time but we were on our way. Thankfully all of the places we go understand that time is not always something we understand or work well with and we may be late. Thankfully now that he doesn’t have quite as many meltdowns we aren’t as late that often. When we got home from his therapy it was a whirlwind. He was in a good mood but extremely hyper and very sensitive. His screams were loud and the more excited he got the more he jumped and that shakes the whole house. You never really feel like you can relax because you are constantly moving because he is constantly moving. I can only imagine what his body goes through. I try to work on calming techniques with him every day and I see him learning to use them when he wants to. It will come together for him and I’m thankful. And throw into the mix that he keeps saying he’s going to “lose a tooth it’s growing in” and that’s one more hard thing for him. He feels all the movements of his adult teeth coming in. This morning when we were waiting for the bus he wanted Alexa to translate into French. When he was eating his dinner he wanted me to add a French version of a letters app to his tablet but I couldn’t figure out all the instructions because it was in French. I told him I was sorry I would have to translate it to see the steps to download it and if it costs anything. I got up to get something to drink and he loaded his French app and played it. I would say he knows a few words in French and success was had. I’m thankful for a good day with only a side of a few challenges. When all else fails succeed at something else. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen had another great night and was ready for “church church church in Arabic” as soon as he got up. He wanted his tablet before he went to the bathroom but quickly realized he needed to go before he even asked. It was early this morning but at least he slept all night if five in the morning is considered all night and for us it seems to be. I was thankful the happy train came to visit. His appetite finally seems to be coming back. He ate all his breakfast quickly and asked for more. He hadn’t done that in a while. He asked for a letters and numbers game. He said that he pulls letters out of a bag and there are colors yellow, orange, pink, and red. Then he told me to “order it.” I asked him to show it to me but he couldn’t figure out where to look for it on the internet so it may be from school or from one of his therapy sessions. I’ll ask his teacher or therapists if it’s something they have used with him. He may have seen it on a video but hasn’t figured out how to find the video again. Sometimes it takes him a few days to find a way to explain this to me. It sounds similar to games that he has played with his therapists but not I’m not sure what it would be. I can see how he is taking what his speech teacher is teaching him with the sounds and shapes his mouth makes, and applying them with his changing his face and pronouncing his words. I’m thankful for all of his therapists and what they do for him. He was so happy to go to church. And so was I. He was happy all morning. He remained pretty calm when we got there. I had my own distractions going as well. He told one of the ladies she had to “wear blue pants tomorrow” and wouldn’t look at her. I made sure when we left that he told her he was sorry. I reiterated to him that his emotions were important but I want him to understand that so is the person that made their choice to wear what they wanted or even that sometimes they can’t choose what they wear. I talk to him about people that have to wear a uniform of some type don’t get to make the choice. I hope that at some point he will understand this better. We got his chicken nuggets, cheeseburger, and french fries and we headed home. He wanted the food but he’s not always fast in eating. He did some of the steps I always have him do when we come home but he only wanted to follow a portion of them. He finally got around to eating his food. He asked Alexa for “this old man by eyelash baby in Arabic.” Sometimes I’m not sure where his requests come from. We had a quiet rest of the evening. He told me his Fisher Price BeatBo robot had to go back to the North Pole and he wanted to build a new one. I remember the days it used to upset him when I would put my glasses on top of my head. I do this a lot now when I’m working on my computer but now he is used to it, somewhat. Occasionally he will push them down to my nose but mostly he ignores them. He got into his bed after selecting the right pajamas for sleep. This can take us a while. He went to bed on his own, then got up to make sure I was in my bed and instead of going to his bed he went to the couch and promptly fell asleep. I heard him but he had made a noise in his room so I thought he stayed there. He was asleep on the couch in minutes. When I went to check on him I saw he had me fooled by the noise. I got him to his room and he was back asleep incredibly quickly. I’m thankful for the progress on a rollercoaster day. In faith we build the desire to do what’s next, we build the confidence, we build the hope. Find your passion and build your dream with the confidence through your faith. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I’m loving this sleep thing. Owen struggled a little bit last night going to sleep. It seems like he was working through emotions but thankfully he slept all night and woke ready for his day. Exploring emotions in itself is exhausting for both of us. My emotions sometimes upset him, his emotions can put me on a rollercoaster, and our emotions we are learning to breathe through. He now says, “elephants eat peanuts with Goofy” sometimes when he needs to express something more than one time that he knows he isn’t supposed to be focusing on like “blue pants.” I like that he is starting to redirect himself. Even though he kept asking about when he was going to see his grandma he was not processing the steps to get us there. I knew he didn’t want to miss seeing her again on his Saturday though. He was very concerned about the weather. Once I said that I would go sit back down if he didn’t want to go see grandma he put a pep in his step and got ready. I have to watch my words because he holds on to them and references back to them like with the weather but I also need him to make connections to his actions and reactions. He put his shoes on the correct feet this time but his jacket backward. I’m not sure how he does this or why but he was ready to go. I helped him fix it and we were out the door in pretty much record time. When we got to grandma’s house she had the campfire going and the marshmallows ready for toasting. His grandma is the best. He made his request earlier in the week and she had it ready for him. I left him there and came back for him a few hours later. He wanted to go to the “little park and little Donald’s” but I told him we weren’t going to the park today. I didn’t want to say “because it was too cold” then those are words that would turn into a concern for him when I reference them again. He transitioned well when we told him the park was closed and that instead, he could ride his bike on the driveway. He walked outside and said, “the mud gets hurt.” I’m not sure what that referenced. He usually takes his balance bike but they also have a tiny bike that he never rode before but now loves it. He grabbed it and started riding it around. It is so small for him but he rides it like a balance bike since he doesn’t understand how to ride with only two wheels. I showed him his new helmet and he absolutely loved it. Hats aren’t always something he wants to wear so this was huge that he took to it so quickly. He loves dropping his bike to the ground and then laying next to it in this very dramatic fashion, posing in different ways. He takes his bike out like he is a wrestler in a ring winning a match. When he was little he would fall and I would make a big deal out of checking to see if he was ok so we could have conversations. I wanted him to know how to tell me when he was hurt so I may have helped create this dramatic interpretational bike dance performance. We went to the “little Donald’s” when we left and then came home. He was happy. I think about the huge meltdowns he used to have almost every single time we were in the car. I’m thankful he has mostly moved on from the concern over the stoplights even though he still talks about them. He told me he wanted a Pete the Cat cupcake. It’s always interesting. He was asking Alexa for more words in several languages. He asked for “grandma grandma grandma” in many languages and his go-to is “buffalo buffalo buffalo” in Arabic and Portuguese. He had an amazing day with a side of drama and a mix of fun and humor. It’s funny that one of the reasons I didn’t like to paint with watercolors is that I never felt like I had any control with them, they seemed to do what they wanted. It’s like life though. Once we let a thought go, pay an action forward, or even sit on an idea we no longer have control over it or with it. Be brave in your decisions, be kind with your heart, and remember what is in your control and use that to shine your light on the world and share your story. Smiles to all and donut daze!

It was a great night for my sweet baby O. He slept under his blue blanket but next to the red one. That felt like progress though. He was in a good mood when he woke. It was a little early so he got into bed with me before he even asked for his tablet. I had woken up by the old bladder alarm so I’m sure my going to the bathroom woke him up a little early. Thankfully it wasn’t too early. We lay there for a few minutes and then I got up to get some coffee. He didn’t want me to get up so I stayed there another couple of moments and he was laughing at everything I said. I told him I would be right back and he said, “tablet.” I asked him what he needed to do before he got his tablet and he got up and went to the bathroom. That felt like progress too. While I got my coffee Owen ran past me to get his tablet and then back to stand guard by the light switch until I finished getting my coffee. He had that light turned off and in my bed before I could even think about it. We got him ready for school and I worked with him again on doing tasks quickly so he could have the reward of his tablet. We walked out to wait for the bus and it was really cold and windy so we waited on the porch. “Hippopotamus in Arabic,” he asked Alexa and then he repeated it in Arabic like he had been saying it forever. He went on to say numerous phrases in all the different languages, and then about that time, his bus came. I could tell he was really happy to see the bus come around the corner and he was jumping up and down. My boy came home as happy as he left but he didn’t want to do anything on his Friday night. And he was concerned about not having school next week but I told him he would and I think we got past it. The weather is such a concern for him. I got him a Curious George book about bowling and he said, “Curious George goes bowling” so maybe just maybe he will want to go bowling again soon. I am hoping that I can find all the different social interactions we are working on in the Curious George books and videos. He is doing amazing with his bedtime routine because of him so I’m hoping it helps with other things. “It is an igloo,” he kept repeating it, pointing to the words on the screen. He was reading what was on the screen but there was an iguana on it. He amazes me with how he figures everything out. He knew it was wrong. I guess they sped up the words or the video. He didn’t want to eat too much tonight and I know a lot of times I don’t even try to push it because he is such a great eater. The red blanket was on its position on the bed “ready to go night night.” He started the process under the red one but quickly moved it beside him again. He was in his bed and didn’t want me in his room but he kept fake crying and screaming for me to come in there and then he told me to leave but to put the blanket on him that was already on him and wanted me to do a fake snoring sound. I think he gets himself in circles with blankets in general and will eventually move to use the red one. The fake snoring and crying stopped and turned into quiet sleeping. I see incredible growth and I am thankful for that. The challenge you stand in today will be the growth you walk away with tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Mood, that’s the best way to describe how Owen woke up. He slept all night but woke up a little agitated. He quickly turned it around though. I didn’t push the rewards system this morning. I talked about it with him but let him take control of what he was doing. I was still trying to promote his independence but there are days where mood trumps everything else that happens next. When we went to wait for the bus he said, “walk like a monkey” and tried to do the exercises I had been working on with him. When I am introducing new activities or exercises he doesn’t always want to do them and it can take him days, weeks, or longer until he will try it. Sometimes it takes him even longer to warm up to a routine change or the activity itself isn’t something he can process so I was very thrilled that he initiated the activity. He then grabbed my hands and started making monkey noises. I showed him how to bend over again and he bent over with me instead of picking up his foot to touch it. This was progress. It didn’t take long and the bus turned the corner. He was happy to see it and he knew today was one of his favorite days since he would be going to therapy. He loves going to school and therapy. I picked him up from school and his teacher said he was having a good day and they worked on a few activities to help him process choices and use his words for descriptions. We got to his therapy and he wanted me to go in once again. I tried to convince him to go in on his own but he kept saying “mommy can go.” Sometimes it is easier to just go because otherwise, it can cause a meltdown. He did mostly great at therapy. Blue pants strikes again with one of the therapists, but she was very calm about it and went through it with him and was able to distract him. When we left there, he wanted to drive by the windows and then we came home. He was very calm and ate steadily throughout the night. His hair had not been cut completely in a while and it is another hard thing for him. He doesn’t want me to cut his hair and he hasn’t gone anywhere else to have his haircut so it’s one of those things that I try to continue to cut his hair when he is having a better evening like tonight. His red blanket got here today. I washed it and then showed it to him. He immediately wanted it on his bed. I was hoping this would go over well but with everything, the unexpected is the expected. After his bath, he got into bed and didn’t want the red blanket on him at all. He wanted it next to him but when I tried to put it on him he pushed it off and put it back on the other side of the bed. This is like everything else and could take him a while to get used to. Thankfully Curious George was still for the win because off to bed he told me to go and he stayed in his bed, mostly. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it so I’m thankful for his progress but I also have to remember to give myself the same kindness and grace I always talk to him about. We are both learning and growing through this journey. He screams a lot. It’s not always screams of anger or frustration. There are as many happy screams as there are mad ones but it is all noise and it is all loud. I remind myself to breathe. Be kind to your heart, remember you are amazing, and be brave in the adventures of tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

My sweet baby O and I slept about the same. He may have slept a little better than me. He came to me at some point and got into bed with me but then slept the rest of the night. I worked with him on expectations and his goals. In the morning sometimes we struggle with our routine and our schedule so this morning instead of rushing at the end to get us ready and out the door to wait for the bus I decided to have him go through the process earlier and then for his reward of getting it done quicker, he was allowed to have his tablet for the remaining time. I wanted him to know that if he did something then he was rewarded for it. The timing for these types of things it’s always hard. I want him to understand that it is a process that he goes through to get dressed and by his completing a certain task on time helps with our process. He sometimes struggles with putting his own clothes on and he will stand there trying to put his right leg into his pant leg and then he doesn’t complete the process to put his left leg into the other pant leg and so he will take them off and start over instead of finishing the process. I want him to realize he can finish the process and if he needs to he can sit down to finish it. There are so many different ways that he can do this, but I want him to understand he does not have to walk around while he’s putting his pants on. That might be one of the biggest things he struggles with. He had a goal to be able to spend five more minutes with his toys and tablet so he quickly put his shoes and socks on. He had put them on backward and so I had him take his shoes back off and he was able to put them on without a problem. This is something that he does quite often. I’m not sure what it is about this process that he always wants to put the shoes on backward but we are trying to learn how to differentiate between the left and right. I have tried several ways to get him to understand the difference but it almost seems like he does it on purpose because I will even label the shoes and yet he still tries to put them on incorrectly. When I told him his time was up with his tablet he quickly got ready for the bus. He was happy when he came home. I thought we were going for a walk but when we got inside he said no. He told me as soon as he got off the bus he wanted to take a walk in the little red wagon but that didn’t happen. I told him we were going to put up his backpack and take off his safety belt and then we could go but he still said no. I learn to not always push it depending on his mood. He has been asking for me to get veggie straws and he was very happy when I got more for him. “Take me home where the buffalo roam,” he sang out. I thought it was interesting because I hadn’t heard him sing it before. The night went fastly slow but felt like he was doing well. I can tell he is working on his language skills and it feels like he is truly making incredible strides. He once again fell asleep on his own. I’m beyond thankful for Curious George at this point. Find your motivation, reach for the stars, and know that you are a winner. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“Just a minute,” he said. His words keep running through my mind. It amazes me all the words and phrases Owen knows. It was a little after five and he was standing right next to me. He said, “tablet.” I said, “good morning what is something else you could say to me?” He said, “tablet good morning mommy.” I said good morning again to him and told him that he could have his tablet after he went to the bathroom. Some days this feels like a rollercoaster ride. He remembers to go randomly in the morning and at other times he is focused on the end goal. This sleeping thing is a beautiful thing though. Curious George is my new best friend. I must get the red blanket he keeps requesting because Curious George has one on his bed. He kept telling me that he wanted to see grandma. I told him we would “see grandma later.” I generally tell him “in a little bit” and these words matter to him. He is learning the difference between in a little bit and later. I told him he would be going later but he kept saying “in a little bit.” I told him that “later” meant after lunch so he had a reference of time. He technically can’t tell time but he references time and alarms frequently. We had a therapy appointment in the afternoon and grandma was busy in the morning so we were going right before his appointment. Even though he knew we were going right after lunch it still took him a while to process it. Thankfully, he was in a good mood and we were able to go to grandma's in the afternoon. Then we went to his therapy appointment and he did really well. He was talking to the different people and interacting with them. He was a little bit hyper but he was handling everything that was happening. When we left he went around to talk to the receptionist. He was talking about blue pants but he was not upset about it and that was progress. When we left there we came home and he was very calm once again. He found out that Donald Duck also goes to sleep with a red blanket. We should hopefully have the red blanket tomorrow. Now I have two characters that like a red blanket and go to sleep on their own. I’ve ordered several Curious George books to see if any of them would help with other social skills. I might need to look at Donald Duck as well. When we left his therapy he asked to go bowling and to the coffee shop. I told him we couldn’t go today but maybe we can another day this weekend. I’m hoping that will get him to start going again. He was very repetitive with his words and actions today but I was thankful he was calm. The under-his-breath conversations continued. I’m not sure what he is saying with these conversations but he is talking about something. He put himself to bed with the new enhanced Donald Duck takes over if Curious George doesn’t succeed method and he didn’t even get out of bed once. I’m hoping for another great night of sleep for him. I’m thankful he had an incredible day and I know he’s ready for school tomorrow. Be inspired by the glory around you and let go of the stress and uncertainty that are holding you back. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sometimes it’s all about my emotions. A lot of times it’s all about my emotions. Most of the time it’s about how I deal with all of the emotions. And today I cried a lot. Owen’s made some incredible progress, absolutely incredible progress, but it’s still hard, it’s still emotional, very, very emotional, very. He slept all night again. He woke up early but he was on a mission. He knew he didn’t want to miss seeing grandma again. He woke knowing we were going to breakfast with grandma and then her house. He got about an inch from my nose and said, “tablet.” I wasn’t really awake. He tried again. “Tablet” and then he quickly added “grandma.” He was calm this morning but very distracted. He kept talking about going to see grandma but then said, “just a minute.” I asked him if he wanted to go or if he wanted to stay home. He wanted to go. We got ready and out the door, we went. The restaurant was busy. This didn’t go over so well with Owen. He is used to being able to sit right away. He was also focused on what the world was wearing and they all weren’t wearing blue pants. I breathe. I counted with him, I counted more with him, and I told him to breathe. It’s emotional and exhausting. I’m always on pins and needles. I never know how he is going to react or what is going to upset him. I am always trying to stay ten steps ahead of what can upset him. Thankfully they had a table quicker than they predicted and we ordered. He ate pretty well but it seems like since we were sick neither one of us has completely gotten our appetite back. He called the manager one of the people he watched on YouTube. I wasn’t sure at first what he was saying but he did look a lot like him. When we were finished they were going to take our plates and we asked them to leave them because we didn’t want to upset Owen. Thankfully all went pretty well with it and he was off to grandma’s house. He knew he was going to his eye therapy today so he decided he wanted to go to the “little Donald’s and little park” to ride his bike. When they left he saw their tiny bike and he wanted to take it. They went to McDonald’s and then we met at the park. He wanted to ride the little bike but really what that meant was for him to sit on it and then say “oops it fell” and down it went. He loves dropping his bike to the ground. I’m not quite sure why but he loves doing it. Sometimes he dramatically falls with it. And lays right next to it. “Doesn’t have enough horns,” he said, talking about his little bike. I told him that I got his new bike a horn when we get it. Before we even left he was plotting to see grandma tomorrow since there is a teacher planning day. He has a therapy appointment so he might get to spend some time with her again tomorrow if we time it right. He did great at his vision therapy appointment even though he likes to talk about his tablet and seeing her next week before he even finished today’s appointment. When we got home he didn’t want much for dinner but he is back to requesting veggie straws. His new old thing is to throw his veggie straws on the ground and then pick them up to eat them over and over. Not sure how this began, why it’s resurfaced, and why it’s a thing but here we are. “Squeeze an orange,” he said and told me to get some oranges so he could squeeze them. I’m not sure where this came from either. I’m thankful for his progress. It’s an emotional journey but his progress is phenomenal. Your nerves shake waiting for the emotions to happen. Praying they don’t. And today was one of those days. I held on to my emotions but they were right there ready to tumble out. Our journey is not always easy to explain but the love sure is. Do we all dream of being successful or just making it? Success comes from showing your inner strength, sharing your kindness with a friend or foe, and knowing that you can make a difference in the world even if it smiling at someone to make their day. Smiles to all and donut daze!