Owen’s happy Friday started very, very early but he was ready to get to school. He came to me before four, wanting chocolate milk, and to tell me he had his tablet. He also wanted me to know he was going to school. Convincing him to go back to sleep was not an option. He turned my bedroom light on and off he ran to the other room. It’s always interesting when he wants my light on. It was a cooler morning. All of the clothing options washed through my mind. I tried to put jogger pants on him. He may have worn them if they were blue but they were black. He put them on and took them immediately off. I asked him if he wanted to wear shorts or jeans and he chose jeans but hopefully that doesn’t impact the shorts momentum. He however was very excited to wear a jacket in “summer now winter soon” but all of this was huge progress. As we were getting ready to walk out the door he told me he was going on the “bus then school then bus home to play harmonica.” I was excited he told me he wanted to play the harmonica when he got home. He was off to school and I kept thinking about how to decide what to put on Owen when that can start an avalanche of emotions. Sometimes it is the emotional moments that leave me in the quake that are the hardest. His screams break my heart when he is struggling to process something. He came home and he was happy and he wasn’t going anywhere. I didn’t ask him to go anywhere but he immediately told me to change. Food, music, and his tablet were on the agenda for the evening. He was walking through the living room with his tablet to his ear counting and singing a song counting to one hundred. Languages were another big thing on his mind and he translated lots of words. He fell asleep in record time and he was ready for his Saturday with grandma. I’m thankful for a good day even if it started very early. I’m hoping that translates into sleep tonight. Be brave in those moments of challenge and know that your challenges will lead to your greatest of victories. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sleep is a glorious thing and today it felt like we needed a lot more. Owen slept all night and woke up in a good mood. He was still a little sleepy but ready for his favorite day. I didn’t sleep much at all last night. Every noise was a noise and every noise woke me up so I could overthink about something. The dude is definitely growing. He wanted waffles and cereal before he went to school. They have breakfast, lunch, and snacks at school as well. He wanted to make sure that I was going to pick him up from school for his therapy. He hasn’t been repeating as much lately, but in the last couple of days, it started again. Sometimes I think as it gets closer to the weekend he gets more anxious about his days. He was excited about getting on the bus and going to school. His teacher said he had a good day, but was a little distracted. That’s how he felt in the morning as well and I think it was because he was tired. He’s had a very busy week. We had a little time before he had to go to therapy so we went to the park. At first, he wanted to go, and then he didn’t want to go, and then he did want to go, and then he didn’t want to go. As soon as I started to pull away, he decided he wanted to go. We got out of the car and he headed right for the swings. He then went on the slide and told me five more minutes when I said it was time to go. It’s interesting how he wanted to go and also didn’t want to go but then wanted more time. He was excited to get to therapy, but I could tell he was still distracted. He had speech first and he wanted to sing the responses with her. When he went to physical therapy it was amazing to watch him. He completely self-directed the exercises. That’s what I like about all of his therapists they know when to let him go through the process and assist when they can but also let him figure out the steps on his own. He took the small slide and moved it about the room onto other things like the crash pad, trampoline, and board swing. He figured out all these angles and gave himself a true workout. His therapist and I were amazed at all of the steps he was doing. We could tell he needed the input and the exploration was amazing. He completely exhausted himself so much that for the last five minutes, he lay on the crash pad. Then we went by the school he never went to but likes to drive by and the burger boy statue. We picked up a pizza from “Gino’s Owen’s robot sign.” He ate several slices and wanted more. Our wifi went out again and that was the only little hitch in our night. “Please try again,” he said when it went out. His day wore him out. He didn’t ask for more time and went right to bed. I’m praying for a great night of sleep and a happy Friday. His smile, his laughter, and his progress are all amazing. Let your smile be your guide for the day. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The blues pants saga is well on my mind. Owen slept great and me about as much sleep as an overthinking momma can get. The cooler nights lead to those cool days and I can’t help but think how to transition Owen back into wearing pants, but not blue jeans. I want him to understand he can wear other clothes. As soon as I start talking about pants he tells me blue pants. It’s a process and I could go with the theory that we will cross that bridge when we come to it but for me, that doesn’t give me enough time to overthink it. It makes me sad that this is so hard for him. I have to believe that as quickly as he transitioned to shorts he will learn to process other long pants. I have to hold onto this thought. I don’t want to lose the shorts momentum so I worry about going back to us both wearing jeans. Honestly, I would wear jeans every single day too but I don’t want it to be the complete focus for him. He was happy again when he got on the bus but he was concerned about what we were doing when he came home. He wanted to make sure we were staying home. He is on the go a lot so I know he wants times when he is at home playing and doing what he wants. He keeps asking to go to the pool on Saturday. He isn’t scheduled for another lesson right away so I will see when we can go again. When he came home from school he was very calm but he wanted to make sure I knew we weren’t going anywhere. I offered to take him to the park but didn’t expect him to go. I always like to offer options so that he knows we can do other things. It was a quiet night at home. I made his dinner and then he requested “honey mustard” for his chicken. He once again ate a big dinner. Bath time and playtime happened. He told me “five more minutes for fire hydrant.” I had no clue what he was referencing. I had already told him he could have a few more minutes before our routine. He showed me what he was looking at and it is a fire hydrant that he likes to go by with my mom. His world has opened up since I gave him Google Earth. It still amazes me all the places he has found. He fell asleep quickly and he was ready for his favorite day. I’m thankful he loves going to school and therapy. Today was another good day for my sweet baby O. I can’t wait for the days ahead and the progress I know he will make. Be the sunshine on someone’s cloudy day. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I’m truly for the sleep even though I never feel like I have enough. Routine is a glorious thing. Owen woke ready for his new day. He is making such good progress. He was happy again this morning. He was a little more anxious because he wanted to make sure he was coming home on the bus but he was still very calm. I’m thankful for how much he loves school and his progress there too. He is doing great with his new glasses but he is still pushing them up when he is looking at his tablet but he only needs them for far away so I get that. He was excited that he was going to therapy after school. He repeated numerous times about coming home on the bus. I made sure he understood that he was going to come home and then we were going to go to his therapy. We went outside to wait for the bus and I talked to him about clothing. I keep telling him that at some point, he’s going to have to wear pants again. I explained to him that he can wear any type of pants that he wants or he can wear long shorts as well. I want him to understand the options and the weather that is going to be changing. He was so excited when he saw the bus, but he still wanted to make sure that he was coming home on the bus before he left. When he came home from school, he was very calm. He put his backpack and safety belt up. I fixed his snack and then we got ready to leave. He did great in the car and he was ready to see his therapist. When we got there, he was a little hyper and loud but he still did well. When we got done with his therapy, we went to dinner with my parents. He knew exactly what he wanted to order and he ate most of it. He did pretty well while we were sitting there, but he was getting emotional about parts of his day. I asked him to share with his grandma about him going to his music lesson. He was able to tell her that they played several instruments and sang numerous songs. I love that he’s starting to make those connections and be able to share when I ask him questions. When we came home, he wanted to go in all of the directions, but he also wanted to go home. When we got to the house he walked up to the porch. He always opens the storm door. He stands there with his hand in the door frame, trying to slowly move the door to close. I think he is trying to see how the door works and what it feels like when it’s on his hand. He has no fears so he doesn’t know that it can hurt him to slam his hand in the door. He had a great rest of his night, requesting more food and ready for his day ahead. The bus was still on his mind, but I reassured him that he would be coming home from school on the bus. He was asleep in a matter of moments and I know that he is ready for the next day. Tomorrow we don’t have anything big planned and he needs that time where he gets to stay home. Progress was once again made today and I’m very thankful for my sweet baby O. Find your happiness in the little things and know that you can move mountains when you stay strong. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Thankful the sleep train is sticking with us. Owen slept until almost six. I was up way earlier than that but still slept through the night. We had a very full day ahead so I was thankful for the sleep. He woke in a great mood. I haven’t seen him this excited in a while. I asked him what he was doing today and he told me he was going to school, music, and see his eye therapist. He made sure I knew he was riding the bus to school. We got ready and went outside to wait for the bus. He was so interactive with me and happy. He was telling me all kinds of things and asking me to have Siri translate numerous phrases into several languages. When he saw the bus he was smiling from ear to ear. It makes me so happy to see him smile. I went to pick him up and his teacher said he had a great day. He wanted his tablet. I asked him if he knew where it was and he said, “at home in the living room.” We got to the therapy place and he did great. It was a new place for him and he walked in like he owned the place and turned off the lights. If only I had a cup of coffee I would have felt like we were home. He did great with the music therapist. He was a little stuck on the blue pants but thankfully he didn’t have a meltdown. He played several songs with her on the ukulele and they used drumsticks. He also sang songs. He likes to repeat words and songs but he has great attention to detail. I’m thankful for this opportunity for him and I know that he will do amazing. After we were done we came home for a little bit and then we went to vision therapy. He got his new glasses that he picked out. He had an incredible session with the doctor. He was following through on activities he couldn’t complete before and he tried really hard with all of the exercises. He was able to count the objects on the board without having to go directly to them. Plus he didn’t count over the number that was on the board. He stopped at the number four and that was a huge step. We came home and he played his harmonicas and read one of his books with me a couple of times. The quick version and the quicker version but I figured since he was reading a book he chose he could read it how he wanted to. This dude is also growing again. His dinner was gone fast and he wanted more. I’m thankful for this amazing day and all of his incredible progress. I can’t wait to see what the future holds. Tomorrow we are off to another therapy after he gets home from school. He is ready and excited. Each day is a beautiful gift and the melody plays strong in my heart. Cherish the moments of awe and amazement. The little things will give you those moments you seek. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sleep happened but my exhaustion didn’t go away. The mind, body, and soul react to the comfort of sleep in chaotic times but one night of sleep doesn’t erase exhaustion. But it does give me a new resolve and the last few days have given me a hope for our future. The beauty in Owen’s connections give me a confidence to cherish each brand-new day. Progress has been made today as well. He asked me about church and I said, “in a couple hours.” The roll of the eyes happened but he did not say “in a little bit.” It feels like a huge victory. Numerous times I said to him in a couple hours, and he was fine with that. He came running to me with his tablet. It was pulled up to the parent area. He needed me to put in the code. I wasn’t sure why he needed it since it was an app he already had. He wanted to change the app into Spanish so he could hear the animal names. He did great at church. It was a great message and more inspiration for the challenges we face. Owen didn’t want to go anywhere after church and then wanted to go everywhere as soon as we got home. He even said, “lunch with grandma” but quickly realized what he said. He was pretty calm except he might be losing a tooth. He seems not pleased about it though. I’m not sure why he seems more upset about having loose teeth now. He was very mad about the last one and even had a huge meltdown but the ones before he was excited to get a lollipop from the “pirate tooth fairy.” He is excited about tomorrow. He seemed sorry he was going to miss the bus home but I asked him what he was doing tomorrow and he said, “see Karla making music.” He is excited about going to his vision therapy as well. I’m thankful for a great day, even with the few rollercoastery moments. He laughed so much today and asked me for tickle hugs. He laughs so hard when I act like I’m going to tickle him but hug him instead. The joy is in the little things. They will lead to the big victories for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“Go into the swimming a’pool,” Owen said a few inches from my nose. I’m counting four in the morning a victory. Yuparooni, it’s still very early but four is better than two and three. Victories are made for our choosing and this was a victory. He was excited to be going. He couldn’t wait to see his instructor and his friend was going to be there during the same session. I think I said something about it being four in the morning and I was still asleep but there really wasn’t much else I could think of at that point. I needed coffee. He kept watching swimming videos all morning long and in between that asking when we were going. I can’t say “later” because that sends him into a meltdown. I have to say “in a little bit” otherwise it is rough for him. We got ready to go and it was almost like he was doing a chant for us to get out the door. “Swimming pool swimming pool swimming pool,” he said. We got to the place and he said, “park it.” I always love hearing when his words match the moment. He was so excited about going inside. We got there early because even though it was a Saturday you never know with all the traffic. Our friends got there about the same time we did and we went inside. The first session was finishing up so we still had a few minutes before he could get in. He wanted in the pool right away. He handled it well even though he was anxious about it. He did pretty well in the pool but he wanted to play more than learn how to kick but the instructor did great with him and adapted to help him. We had playtime when she was with our friends. His top two waters are pool water and tub water. I’m not quite sure how to convince him to not drink the water. He liked the fish part better than the lesson part but he enjoyed it. When we left there he went to spend a few hours with his grandma. When I picked him up he said he wanted to go straight home and not by any of his usual requests. However, when we got home that was not what he wanted. He started having a meltdown requesting all the things. I finally convinced him to come inside so he could get ready to go to church tomorrow. He was out of the car in no time. The rest of the night I think he was exhausted. He played with his tablet and talked about church. When it was bedtime he got in his bed and then he came back out of his room. He went back to the couch and took his blankets to bed with him. He dragged them behind like he was Linus from the Peanuts cartoon. I heard him talking to himself and then he was out. He is excited for his next few days and I know they will lead to more connections and victories. I’m thankful for his progress and that great big smile. Dream big, love bigger, and give it your all. Smiles to all and donut daze!

More sleep was had. When Owen woke up he started talking about swimming tomorrow. I wondered if that would make sleep more interesting tonight. He was also happy about starting music therapy on Monday. Hopefully, he will be more excited about going to music therapy than missing the afternoon bus on Monday. I have to pick him up from school to get him there on time. He has been playing his harmonica a lot. I love hearing him randomly pick it up to play. While we were sitting on the white bed, with me drinking my coffee and him laughing at his tablet, I tried convincing him to go to dinner with his grandparents after school. I talked to him about how we can see others more than one day a week. I’m trying a new strategy with him. I explained that he sees me every day and his teacher a lot of days during the week hoping that it helps him understand that we can do more things outside our scheduled days with people. His teacher said he had a great day at school. He is grasping concepts and making connections to things he hadn’t before. I’m beyond excited he is making so much progress. He is exactly where he needs to be and as emotional as the decision was to keep him back a year it was the best decision I could have made. By four o’clock it already felt like the longest Friday night ever. He didn’t want to go anywhere and all he talked about was tomorrow. He was calm though. I prayed this would not keep him from going to bed because he was so excited about his day. His friend is also going to be in the same session with him so it’s very exciting for him. After he goes to his lesson he will most likely go see his grandma. He is definitely growing again because he ate all night long it seems. He kept asking for five more minutes before bedtime. He was yawning and yawning but I let him stay up a little later hoping that helps him sleep. He wanted to play on his tablet and then his harmonica before he went to bed. By the time he went to bed the first time it was about thirty minutes later than his regular bedtime. He then got up numerous times before he finally fell asleep. I pray he is asleep for the night. I really want him to be able to enjoy tomorrow. I’m thankful for how much he loves music. He plays a beautiful melody that fills my heart. Rejoice in the moments after you have walked over the bumpy road. Your victory is worth celebrating. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The beautiful world of sleep happened again. I woke earlier than Owen and drank my first cup of coffee before he even woke up. We did the whole light switch to the bed scenario for the second cup. I could tell he was in a good mood but still very concerned with the day ahead. On today’s edition of how cool Owen is we discussed the air conditioner. He always says he wants to go by the “air conditioner.” I never knew what he was talking about. Google Earth has literally given us the world. He showed me a building and on the second floor is a window unit. He pays attention to the littlest of details. It’s amazing the details of the world he has memorized. To him, they are all important. I can only imagine how he will change the world with his insights and attention to detail. He was really upset when we went out to wait for the bus. Someone was parking near our house and that upset him and then he was upset about the day ahead. He wanted to make sure that I was picking him up so that he could go to therapy. The anxiousness started as soon as we went outside and then when he saw the car park, he couldn’t concentrate on the day. He watched a bunny run off and I wonder what he thought of it. When I picked him up from school his teacher said he was a bit anxious today and had a lot of stimming but he had a good day, and he read a story slowly and pronounced the words. Then I took him to Therapy. I went in with him and I’m so thankful to watch his incredible progress. Hearing his “yes” is absolutely amazing. He says it was such confidence now. He also did great with his physical therapy and even though he was still anxious, he was able to do all of the activities. On the way home we picked up a pizza and he ate it all. He asked YouTube for “school fire.” They had a fire drill today at school so he was watching another school on YouTube to see what it was like with all the sounds and lights. There are so many connections he is now making. He told me he wasn’t going to bed tonight and he meant it. He woke up numerous times and came to me until he finally fell asleep. I’m thankful for the incredible progress. And the smile that he gives me. Sharing your smile is worth its weight in gold. Smiles to all and donut daze!

It’s starting to stay darker in the mornings. It’s that time of year. How do I explain to Owen that it is darker because of the seasons. I feel like he’s starting to get this but it is all a process. I thought about this as we were waiting for the bus. It will change our mornings and the way he looks for the bus when it becomes dark. He had a good morning and did his light and waiting for me to get my coffee routine. I’m thankful he’s been sleeping better. His sleeping better makes me sleep better. I started getting ready to take him out to wait for the bus and he asked me for cereal and chocolate milk. I can tell this boy is growing. He generally waits until he eats breakfast at school. His teacher has said that he’s been eating a lot more at school as well and that makes this momma happy. He was in a great mood when he went off to school. We had discussed going to dinner with his grandparents, and at the time he was on board. However, when he got home from school that changed. When he got off the bus he got very upset about me standing in the wrong place. Then immediately as we were walking in he started saying that he was not going anywhere and I needed to change and put on a dress. Then the meltdown happened as soon as we walked in the door. He realized I was doing laundry. I had different piles separated across the kitchen and laundry to fold on my bed. I didn’t even think about it. I had stopped working on it while the air conditioner repair man was here. By the time he left, it was time to wait for his bus. It didn’t even cross my mind. He started screaming about throwing the clothes down the stairs, and the pants in the trash. He can’t process it all. I can’t imagine all that he is going through when something like laundry is not in the right place. It can be piled up on my chair or my table but if it’s on my bed or in the laundry, hampers, it causes him to have huge meltdowns. He wanted me to change and for me to sit. Once I sat and he was able to get his tablet, he remained calm. I tried not to upset him for the rest of the night. You walk on eggshells, knowing that words and actions could cause even more pain for him. We didn’t go to dinner with his grandparents, but they understood. We will try again tomorrow after therapy. I focus on the progress and I try not to get emotional about the days I feel need a reset. I sit and breathe and pray. I can only imagine what he thinking in those moments. As the day turned in tonight, I talked to him about the emotions that we both have. I want him to understand that even though he doesn’t want the laundry out there are times that it must be in different places. Each day is a learning process for both of us. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. And I’m learning and growing every day, just as much as he is. His laughter was amazing this morning and that is what I cling to every day. Cherish the moments of joy, work through the sadness, and know there is a victory to be had. Smiles to all and donut daze!